from love to Love
by shenaedeniven
Summary: when the Cullen's find and raise a baby as one of their own, Edward battles with himself, from becoming the protective older brother who has always been there, to the man who is irrevocably in love, unfortunately it takes terrible circumstances for them both to realize the obvious. Please R
1. Chapter 1

**CARLISLE'S POV**

**CHAPTER ONE**

I watch the silver Volvo disappear down the drive of our forks home, It's our children's first day of high school, all of my children except one have all been countless times, first days, graduation, then through to college or married life, Before joining us once again in another town to complete the cycle. I know my children do not particularly like this mundane, never ending life, Of never changing never moving forward. I know rose suffers and Edward as well, Not a day goes by when I don't think over my actions, Edward I saved first and I knew very soon after changing him that he was lonely, rose was next, and soon after she found Emmet and I had already found Esme, then we were joined by the our treasured Alice and Jasper. But Edward never attached himself closely to anyone in particular, He thought He was complete with himself, believing that's is all he needed. There were many conversations Between Esme and Myself concerning Edward, We both worried for him. Until, on september 13th Rosalie brought home a little white bundle, almost dead, but with everyone rallying for many hours we nursed the baby girl back to health. I know It was most likely not a wise decision to keep her, but after almost a week, Rose and Esme especially became very attached, And the family simply couldn't give her up. And from that day on we had Bella. who gave rose and Esme the chance to have the child they always dreamed, And though he doesn't seem to know it, yet. Bella has always gravitated toward him, I don't think she knows it either, but they have never been apart more then a week, we had to ask Edward to do his college degree by distance, as Bella grew withdrawn and slightly depressed, when he was away, and when Edward returned He looked rather the same. Both Esme and I have noticed and we are quite sure, that Edward and Bella share the mating bond. We have both decided to guard our thoughts and let them find it for themselves, which we know could take a while as I have yet to find two people more stubborn then Bella and Edward, they fight like cats and dogs, Edwards is always trying to 'baby' her as Bella puts it, though she doesn't mind constantly causing trouble which does amuse the rest of the family. Just the though makes me chuckle too myself, as I lead Esme inside, She looks up at me smiling, and just like the first time I laid eyes on her, my dead heart stutters just that little bit, " what so funny dear?" she raises an eyebrow at me quizzically, " nothing, love" I smile and kiss her A little harder then usual, I have plans for the rare alone time we get to spend together.

* * *

**EDWARD'S POV **

It's our first day of school, again. But I can't wipe the smile of my own face, as I watch the huge smile on Bella's, this is her first day of school ever. To protect her and our selves Carlisle and Esme decided to home school Bella, so if we had to move, her school life wouldn't be disturbed, but Now after not long moving to forks, she is bouncing in her seat.

Pulling into the car park, we exit the car and head to the office to sign in. Bella Clings to my jacket as she half walk half hobbles in the hells Alice demanded she wear, Bella is the most stubborn girl I have ever known, so we were all surprised when she gave in so easily, she always let Alice dress her, as she has done since she was practically a week old, but she has never given in to wearing heels before, "Alice, you will pay for this" she muttered, as she stumbled, "ughh" she jumped signaling for me to pick her up, something we did when she was little though she still used quite often, since she was extremely clumsy, which could be seen as lucky or unlucky, living with us, for me it was unlucky as her whole life I have gone insane waiting for another banged head or broken bone, I have lost count at how many times she has made a simple step a way to land on her head or bruise something. In a flash I had her hoisted up on my back. earning looks from onlookers, which I didn't worry about my concern is Bella, not them.

we signed in and we were now checking over our timetables, after I had gone over my own classes, I compared mine with Bella's, she had only one with me and that was the last class if the day, which I didn't like, I wanted to be there for her, especially on her first day, we all filed out of the office and we all headed to classes, except Bella hung back, for a few moments, "Bella it will be okay, I promise" I smiles reassuringly at her, she beamed back at me, " I know" she gave me that look she gets when she is about to cause trouble of some sort, "Bella?" I raise my eyebrows at her, her eyes go all big and innocent, "what?" she sits down on the concrete, path outside the office and slips off her heels, and grabs her back pack, pulling out a pair of ballet flats, giggling she slips them on, throwing the heels in her bag and stands, I just chuckle, "Alice is going to hate you" I can't help but laugh, she is such a child, although I wouldn't exactly call her innocent, I have learnt my lesson countless times with those big brown eyes, " well she'll live, Bye Edward, I can walk myself" she struts away, flicking her hair like some blonde bimbo, before giggling and running off. I stand there like stunned mullet staring after her, cringing when she starts to run, running and Bella never end well.

I made my way to my own class, and gather my books out, as soon as the teacher starts talking I lose interest, and listen to the thoughts of my siblings, Alice was seething at Bella, already having seen her decision to dispose of her heels, I chuckled, bringing myself attention from every girl in the classroom, I groan internally, once again I would be the subject of gossip, giggles, and swooning, was thinking about our upcoming hunting trip, and Jaz was, fussing over was paying any attention to the teachers at all.

It was a long morning, I was dying to see Bella, to see how she was going, I could hear through thoughts that a few boys and girls had introduced themselves, she seemed quite at ease throughout the morning, A strange feeling washed over me when she sat next to a boy by the name of mike newton, his eyes rake over her admiring the curves of her body, in the pencil skirt and snug fitting blouse, I inwardly cursed Alice, how could she dress Bella like that? I would have a word with Alice later.

I loaded up my prop tray with all sorts of food, and made my way to the far end of the cafeteria, where my siblings already sat. Alice glared at me, no doubt already knowing I was unhappy with the way she had dressed Bella, I sat down, opposite Emmet who was happy as always, grinning at the glaring match between Alice and myself, this was not the first time Alice and I had disagreements concerning Bella's welfare. "Edward, she is a beautiful young woman now she isn't a little girl anymore, stop acting like you have a poker up your ass!" Alice chimed, full of confidence in her actions, I didn't want to admit that It did bother me, that Bella was getting attention from the male population, I was about to open my mouth to threaten Alice, when the thoughts of mike newton started screaming at me, 'god I wanna touch that ass' Bella was walking in front of him unaware of his presence close behind her, as she lined up in the lunch line, He came up and stood beside her, eagerly taking the opportunity to look down her blouse, I Glared at him, turning slightly in my seat, my hands gripping the edge of the table, I wanted to kill him right there, my body tensed as his hand brushed her hip, he made it look like it was an accident, but his thoughts told me different story, his thoughts went wild as his hand trailed down her back, I was so focused on this vile boy touching my Bella that I hadn't noticed Bella herself, untill Rose, kicked my leg under the table to get my attention, _' go help her'_ my eyes snapped to Bella, frozen under the light touch of mikes, who seeing as he was getting no reaction at all continued to see how far he could go, I stood up abruptly the chair falling to the ground, I quickly grabbed it before it could hit the ground, I walked as fast as human pace aloud towards Bella, I stopped behind her slightly and ran my hand down her back, sweeping away mike's hand in process, Bella turned to me, recognizing my cold touch, she smiled at me and exhaled the breath she was holding, I smiled at her, before turning to glare at mike, he shrank away from my murderous stare, before turning to back to Bella, "Bella I have lunch for you already" I said never taking my eyes of mike, Bella turned to mike, "see you later mike" she smiled at him, and a strange feeling ran through me, something I have never felt before. I walked away from mike with Bella close to by my side totally confused, this morning I had felt so many new feelings, I don't even know what they are.


	2. Chapter 2

**EDWARD'S POV**  
**CHAPTER TWO _I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS ONLY THE IDEA.  
_**

* * *

I watch Bella drive away in my volvo, it was the only way I would let her go tonight, if she drove safely and promised to be home by 9 at the latest. But as soon as the car was out of sight, turning onto the highway, she accelerated to at least 100mph, Jasper chuckled and patted me on the back as I groaned. would she ever listen? I know if it had have been someone else telling her what I just did she would listen, but if was me, she was determined to get a reaction, and do just the opposite.

Jasper pulled me inside, toward the game Emmet was playing in the loungroom, I really wasn't up for computer games, but Jasper and Emmet were determined to get me to play, since whenever Bella was home, she took up most of my time, which I don't mind in the least.

But my mind doesn't wonder off Bella, I wish she could let me drive her, but I know I need to let her go, I struggle with a few hours, yet I know someday, she will find someone, who she loves very much, she will get married have children and grow old, like she is supposed to. Like I want her to. but it hurts, hurts to think that one day I won't be the one there for her nightmares, or when she hurts herself she wont come to me, there will be another, more important in her life, and she wont want me anymore.

I throw down the controller and go to my piano, earning looks from Em and Jasper, but they don't say anything, but I don't miss the glance they throw each other, and the immediate mask of their thoughts by singing in their minds. I know they are hiding something from me, but I don't bother asking, I respect their privacy as much as I can. And really, I don't want to bother. I hate it when Bella leaves. I feel like my insides are being pulled taught. I envy the my brothers they seem so comfortable and at ease, they trust Bella completely, I don't know exactly why I have such a hard time, maybe it's because I know she is so clumsy, she can trip over her own feet at any time. I hate thinking of the possibilities, I know I'd go mad. But what scares me most is she is so trusting, you could call it niave, she thinks the world of everyone, which is an endearing quality I have always loved it about her, but its easy to when she is safe in arms reach, but It terrifes me to no end when I know she is alone.

I sit at my piano, my fingers brushing the keys, the sun has almost set, but I know the girls had plans to go for dinner before they came home. I start to play, the music soothing me, as my hands move fluently across the keys, I hardly notice Esme sit beside me, humming to the music, she wraps her arms under my shoulders around my waist, I smile at her as I continue playing, she knows why I am here, she has kearnt to read my music to understand my moods and this song is definately meloncholly, she squeezes her arms tight around me and letting her thoughts reassure me,_ 'she will be okay Edward, I know this is hard for you but she is an intelligent young woman, it's always hard to let go of someone you love for the first time' _I stopped short, "what?" I turned to face my mother, who was smiling affectionately at me, "you love her Edward" I stared at her my mouth agape, my mother chuckled, "Carlisle and I have noticed the strong bond you and Bella have shared since she was a young girl, she loves you, though she probably does not know it yet, Carlisle has seen may mating bonds, are you and Bella share a strong one" she unwrapped her arms from my waist and took my hands from the keys and held them in hers, I couldn't answer, I was too stuck in my own thoughts.

Do I love Bella?

* * *

BELLA'S POV

I am almost home and It's almost 10. I know Edward is going to be furious with me, He is such an old goat. I can't even remember the last time Carlisle and Esme reprimanded me, Edward is always there to do it for them but I don't mind, if anything it's fun, he reacts so well to anything I do.

I smile as I near the turnoff for my driveway, I push the speed up to 100 before screeching to a near stop at the turn the revving engine as hard as it will go down the brief drive, I just reach 80 when again a slam the brakes, almost giving myself a heart attack, by only just stopping in time, in the garage. I turn off the engine and jump out of the car, making sure their is a huge smile plastered on my face, i know he will be waiting for me and I know he will be angry.

My smile falters when Carlisle greets me at the front door and he isn't smiling "you were supposed to be home by nine young lady" I havent heard him use that tone since I was a child. I open my mouth as I scoot past him, about to protest. Dumping my shopping bags into the living room, I groan when I see Esme standing at the stairs, I can't help the feeling of unease as I look around for Edward, He is always here to greet me, angry or not, he has never not been.

Carlisle stands next Esme and by the looks on their faces they aren't happy, I was an hour late. I let my shoulders slump, and bow my head, "I'm sorry" I looked up, Esme looked apologetic but her tone was authoritative " Bella we have rules, if you can not respect those rules we will no longer allow the privileges of going out on your own or at all for that matter, so Carlisle have thought of a suitable punishment. we both agree that you need to learn a lesson, we don't care who tells you, we are all looking out for your safety. You will not be attending the school dance with your siblings next saturday" They both look decided of their decision, so I didn't bother arguing, and though I would never admit it to them lest they decide to change my punishment, I am actually relieved, I really didn't want to have to dance, me and dancing, is a no go. So I hung my head and walked up the stairs to my room, just opposite my room is Edward's, his door was closed but I don't bother knocking, he was obviously too mad to even speak to me.

I Crawl into bed after a hot shower and changing into my night shirt, I snuggle under the thick covers and try and find sleep, I close my eyes, but I don't feel at all tired, I know I'll never be able to sleep without Edward, its only like this when he goes hunting overnight, which is never often, but even then he leaves later then the others to sing me to sleep as he has done since I can remember, I kow it kinda weird, and I have tried to 'grow up' but I can't, it just leads to restless nights and eventually I get sick from sleep exhaustion, Edward always tells me I better hurry and grow out of it, He expects me to leave one day, I have thought about it sometimes, but I honestly don't know what I am looking for, what on earth could make me happy out there? from my experience though it is little with the boys at school, I could never have anyone like them, jess and Ange have told me Mike wants to ask me to the dance, I don't know what I was going to say to him, it's a relief that I am not allowed to go anymore, because I know there is only one person I would ever want to ask me, but I know he never will and It's stupid of me to even think that he could.

* * *

we are finally on our way home, Alice and Rose have been dragging me around seattle for two days, I am dreading school tomorrow, I have not slept since thursday night. Edward left before I got home from port Angeles to go hunting for the weekend with Emmet and Jasper, he has never left before he can say goodbye. I havn't stopped worrying about him for the last two days, I really don't want him to be angry with me. I can't help but worry that maybe he doesn't like em anymore, maybe I pushed him to far, and he doesn't want to bother with me anymore.

Alice parks her Porsche in the garage, and the first thing I look for is Emmets jeep, It's not there. I almost cry, but I pull myself together and get out of the car, Alice handing me my bags which I can barely fit in my arms and I stumble up the porch steps, After a long journey up the three flights of stairs I dump the bags on the floor in my room, I kick my shoes of and sit on my bed, I feel totally wrecked, I want to crawl into a ball and cry, god, I must be hormonal, I almost smile at my self, though I have never suffered like this. I tuck myself into my blanket and try and sleep.

It's dark when I next open my eyes, I feel around the bed, He still isn't home. I check my alarm the green light blurry in my sleep clouded vision, it's 10:30 he may not be home till before school. Half asleep I grab my duvet off the bed and drag in across the room to my door, after much fumbling and nearly tripping over my feet twice, I open Edward's door across the hall, the glass wall on the far side bathed the room in moonlight, as I drag my duvet over the couch and curl up in it, I breath in the smell of him, it's laced everywhere, and for the first time in nearly 3 days, I fall into a deep sleep.

* * *

EDWARD'S POV

As soon as we are in range I check my phone, no missed calls or messages, that Means Bella is okay. I sigh in relief. I have been going crazy this whole time, which has been annoying Emmet and Jasper to no end. It's the first time I have ever told them of my feelings for Bella. And I am still trying to figure them out for myself, they didn't say much, but they were supportive. I think it might be hard for anyone to get their head around it, we all know Bella as the baby, her being A young woman, is strange to think of.

We are finally on our way home. after 2 long days Of hunting I will finally see Bella. I know she probably hasn't been sleeping, she never does when I am away. I have tried to stop but It never ended well, and I never fared much better when I couldn't lay beside her at night. It started when she was very young and Emmet told her a scary story, she had her first nightmare, and I laid with her to be there whenever she woke, and from that night on I have sang her to sleep and sat beside her till she woke in the morning. only the few times when I am hunting or when we tried to 'grow out of it' have I not, I never have told anyone how hard it is for me to leave her, though Emmet and Jasper got a taste this weekend, I still don't know if its true, If Bella and I are truly mates. I asked Carlisle quickly before we left and He did Admit that he was sure we shared a very strong bond, a mating bond. but I didn't have time to ask him more. I have always known that I love Bella, but it never occurred to me that we might be mates, but after being without her for these three days, I ache to see her, I didn't get to say goodbye or even tell her that I was going, and I feel terrible.

* * *

A long hour later we pull into the garage, I don't wait for Em or Jaz, Carlisle and Esme are up in their room so I make my way straight to Bella's room, her door is open in the moonlight I can see no duvet in her bed, I smile to myself, I know where she is. I open my own door and chuckle, there curled up on my couch is my Bella. I kneel beside her, smoothing the hair from her face, before I gather her up in my arms and take her to her own bed. I make sure the covers are tight around her before, laying close beside her, and humming her lullaby, I take a deep breath, loving the smell of her, and settle down to watch her sleep.

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE

this is my third story, I hope you like it I currently writing chapters for my other stories, OUT OF REACH AND DOOMED LOVE, please review and let me know how I am going. :) shenaede.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3 **

**BELLA'S POV **

* * *

I woke wrapped in stone arms. I opened my eyes to see to top buttons of Edward's shirt, peeking out from under the covers. I ran my eyes over his throat which was sparkling in the sunlight, coming from the window on the other side of the room. I marveled at it, like I always did. I remember first seeing it when I was a little girl, and being very disappointed that I didn't sparkle like my family, I didn't understand at first. but I remember Edward telling me when I was 7 or 8 that they different. But It wasn't until I was 12 that I fully grasped what they were and what I was to them. I knew I was a daughter, I was adopted just like the others and free to go when I was old enough. I have never told anyone what my family are, and I never will. They mean everything to me, they ARE everything to me. I know I will never leave them but there is one thing I am worried about, But I don't know how to ask, I don't think Edward wants me to be changed. I know My family say they would trade anything to go back to being human. Rose especially.

My alarm beeps pulling me from my thoughts.

I lean back to bang it off, when an arm snakes out before mine can even pop out of the covers and clicks it off. I wrap my arms around Edward snuggling closer to him. Most people would probably think it uncomfortable to snuggle something that feels a lot like a marble statue. But I suppose I am used to it by now, I have never cuddled anyone 'normal' as you could say, but I don't think I ever will either. But that doesn't worry me I'd be more then happy to keep it that way.

I sigh in contentment when Edward pulls me closer, I missed him like crazy over the weekend. I wonder if he did to? It has become such a habit to sleep with him, I haven't ever thought that he may want to spend his time elsewhere.

My doubt filled thoughts are short lived when Edward starts whispering in my ear, " I missed you" I smile into his chest and snuggle closer if that's even possible, " did you miss me, or were you to busy?" I could hear the smile in his voice, I looked up raising my brows questioningly, "you already know I did" I said my voice accusing.

"yes I know you did, but I want to hear you admit it" he whispers in my ear, his cold breath fanning over my hair and neck making my shiver, his hand started playing with my sleep shirt that was bunched at my waist, I had always worn a sleep shirt which was just one of emmets shirts, which I stole whenever I needed a new one. Now I was aware that all I was wearing was that and my underwear. his hand continues playing, I can feel his fingers brushing my belly button through the thin shirt, muscles I never knew I had tense hard in my stomach and I felt my thighs tense involuntarily in unison.

I am basking in this new feeling, completely lost in my own head and body. His fingers still tracing my stomach, I don't think he has any Idea what he is doing to me, But I don't want it to stop, again that pleasurable tensing in my stomach and thighs, I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice when my hand ran down his side to his torso then over his belly and chest. My breathing was sharp and quick, I was so lost in this new feeling talking over me. one second he was there next to me, unaware that his hand which really wasn't doing anything much was driving my mad. The next second he was out of my arms and across the room. I only knew where he was when I heard him slam against the wall, sending small cracks through it. I sat up quickly, trying to even my breath, a flush of embarrassment, rising over my face at realizing I had been caught.

We just stared at each other for a long time. his breath was no slower then mine, He stared at me like I was some monster. He slid across the wall when I crawled across my bed towards him. I was so embarrassed but more hurt then I care to admit. I could tell by the look on his face that he thought I was disgusting. And even I was confused at what I felt, I sat there on the bed staring at him. His hands looked like they were bracing him against it, as if there was an edge he was going to fall off that I couldn't see.

We stayed that way for a long time, just staring at each other, although Edward looked zoned out most of the time. his eyes were glazed over. Eventually He moved from his rigid pose and made his way towards the door. He looked at me, with a unfathomable look in his eyes, "get ready for school Bella, I will drop you off " his tone was flat. and I was taken off guard, He must have seen the confused look on my face because he chuckled, I blew out a breath, Maybe he was okay? " its sunny Bella, I would love to be there but only you can go today" he gestured towards the window and I groaned throwing myself back on my bed. School alone. I knew I was going to be bombarded my mike Newton. Great.

I threw on some jeans and I sweat shirt. and just on some black cargo ankle boots, I made sure I had the correct text books and made my way down stairs, I could smell breakfast from my room and I was famished after not eating last night.

I smiled at Esme "good morning " I tried to be cheerful but I must have failed because she frowned, raising a perfect brow. I sighed shoving my face with a blueberry pancake signaling I didn't want to talk and went to sit on the breakfast bench.

I was rinsing my plate under the sink when I heard Edward calling me from the garage, I groaned again, like after what just happened, this was not going to be awkward. I dragged my feet towards the garage, I looked to see Edward already in his Volvo, He had a long shirt on and a hat to keep the sun of him. Could I hop in the back seat? I sighed as I plopped into the passenger seat and put my belt on, we were already pulling out of the long driveway onto the road as a looked back up. I leaned back and decided the best way to keep off the subject of this morning If there was even a subject, was to start sulking about school.

I folded my arms over my chest and pouted. Earning a chuckle from Edward. I looked up at him my angriest expression on my face, I really didn't want to face school alone today.

"It's only till Wednesday Bells" he patted my leg assuringly which turned awkward when our eyes met and I instantly went bright red. we both looked straight ahead. Curse my stupid blush! it was as good as reading my mind in that situation.

It was quiet the rest of the way, I kept peaking at Edward through my hair. He was just staring straight ahead, His body rigid, he looked like he might snap the steering wheel. I sighed as we entered the parking lot, grateful for the first time for Edward's speeding, the tension in the car was palpable. I opened my door Edward handed me my bag I said a quick goodbye and shut the door. I groaned when mike made his way to me as soon as he saw me, " Hey Bella, you alone today?" he sounded much more chirpy then usual, he was probably excited of that possibility, I wished more then ever that it wasn't true, " yeah mike the others are sick today, I was sick over the weekend so you might want to keep your distance I don't want you getting it" I tried to sound concerned.

He smiled a huge smile, " I don't mind Bells" I flinched at the nickname, the one Edward has just used for me, it sounded so Blaise, Is that what Edward wanted to? to be distant, Blaise?

I jumped at the bell ringing, Mike wrapped his over my shoulders and laughed." Come on bells, I'll take you to class" I sighed quietly as we walked towards the english building. I could feel his eyes on me. Burning a hole in my back. I was just turning into the building, when I heard the screech of tires, exiting the lot. I don't know how I felt, but I hated it. I ruined everything this morning.

School dragged by, I didn't really hear anyone all day. Mike was by my side at every possible moment, taking advantage of the time he had alone with me I suppose. I was zoned out to his incessant talking in my ear, waiting for Edward to come get me, He was late. I tried to hide my concerns from mike, Edward was never late. my whole life whenever I needed anything he was always there waiting, he was never late.

The lot was empty now except for a few of the teachers cars. And Mikes. He had been offering me a ride home for awhile now, but I knew at least someone would turn up even if Edward didn't. I was battling now trying to keep myself in check, I knew something was wrong, how could they forget me? I was finally going to accept mikes offer when I heard the family purr of a Volvo being sped down the road. I jumped up, mike followed as the car entered the lot. I was about to walk away towards the car when mike took my bag from me and insisted on carrying it for me.

I opened the front door and held out my hand for my bag, " bye mike, thanks for waiting with me" I smiled as big as I could, considering the way I was feeling it wasn't very big. He didn't seem to mind, " no worries Bells, I'll see you tomorrow " he shrugged away, towards his car.

I soon as we were out of the lot I looked at Edward. His hair was a mess, I know he has been pulling on it and his body was rigid again as he looked straight ahead. I tried to keep it together, but I couldn't do this much longer I needed him. We had to fix this, there is no way we can keep going like this. I kept it in, the tears that were threatening, to spill over at any second, I was scared to breath for fear it would turn into a sob. But I made it. I jumped out of the car, leaving my bag behind and ran through the house, up to my room I slammed the door and locked it, at tears spilled over. I stood there for a while, I knew if I cried, everyone would hear and would be up in here in a second. So I decided to have a shower, the noise would drown out my sobs and if they did hear them they wouldn't come in anyway.

I stood under the water and let it relax me, the water was too hot but I couldn't bother changing it, I sank down to the floor and sobbed my heart out. letting it all out of my system.

It was dark when I finally emerged from the shower, all wrinkly and soft. I changed into my nightshirt with shorts underneath and went to get some dinner. I raided the fridge and cupboard. Esme wasn't cooking tonight. I think she was in her room with Carlisle, which was a bit odd. but then again he had been doing shift work lately. I chuckled despite my mood. Yes they were my parents but they didn't look like parents, which made it a bit easier to think that they actually 'do to' . Thankfully they are much more discreet then Rose and Emmet since I have been older I am not sure whether they deemed me old enough to not care if I heard or if I was finally paying attention to what I was hearing, but screaming loud moaning and furniture breaking did not help me sleep at night.

I felt better after my shower. Maybe that's all I needed, it was better when he isn't around. I found chicken nuggets in the freezer I was frying those up and slicing potato onto thin slices when I felt someone standing close beside me. I was Alice. I realized I had not seen her all day.

"hey Alice" I chided as I continued chopping and frying, "Bella what happened this morning?" she took me completely off guard and I dropped the knife I was holding. I looked over to her trying to gauge her expression, she had her arms crossed over her chest and she was tapping her foot impatiently on the ground. I knew I had to answer her, and frankly I did want to, I know if I want to fix this I need advise.

"Is he here?" I whisper as softly as I can, she shakes her head, " he is hunting" I nod my head, and turn back to my food. She sits herself up on the bench beside me swinging her legs like a schoolgirl about to get good gossip, which I suppose she was.

I took a deep breath, " well I don't know what happened Alice, It's Embarrassing as well " I tried to speak quietly, I hoped everyone was busy.

"I need more then that Bella" she chided me, sounding impatient, I closed my eyes feeling like a child but it did seem easier.

" We were in bed this morning-" I paused this was so embarrassing! I can't believe she is making me tell.

" we were in bed this morning, and he started touching my stomach, it was harmless, there was nothing in it, but I-" I didn't know how to explain it, what was I turned on? aroused? what ever it is I am not saying it with a house full of vampires with big ears.

I snapped my eyes open at Alice's trill little giggle. "and you liked it didn't you?" it was more of a statement then I question but I nodded anyway keeping my eyes on my food "what did he do?" there was accusation in her voice "he noticed" was all I could muster I kept my head down. I felt a cold finger on my chin tilting it up, I looked up at Alice, she wasn't laughing now, she looked pretty serious.

" Bella he needs you now more then ever, when he comes home talk to him" I was confused at this, why did he need me now? Before I could ask Alice was gone. So I continued frying my dinner, my head stuck somewhere else. today was not a good day.


	4. Chapter 4

**I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT **

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_**I loved writing this chapter and am looking forward to the next few, it gets a bit heated in this chapter I have yet to write a scene like this so give me some slack, I hope it wasn't too rubbish. but there is more to come so if you have any pionters I will gladly take them on board. Please let me know what you think reviews good or bad are appreciated this is one of my first stories on fanfiction, so please I love to hear from you. **_

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**CHAPTER 4 **

**EDWARDS' POV**

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We all stood stone still, in a loose triangle formation. Carlisle stood at the tip, with Esmé behind him Jasper and Emmet stood flanking him with their Mates at their sides. I stood alone, Beside, Emmet. waiting for the three cloaked figures to emerge from the edge of the forest that surrounds our baseball clearing.

Alice saw them coming, three days ago. In her vision they came to the house, but we couldn't allow them to catch Bella's scent. we weren't sure yet why they were coming, although we all had an idea, We hoped it wasn't the case. We left a trail from mountains bordering seattle to here, and just a moment ago Alice's Vision saw them change course, they would be here any minute.

I scanned the horizon, looking for any sign of movement, but I was more relying on what I would here then see, I would hear their thoughts long before any of us see or hear them. I pulled out my phone, I had only an hour Before Bella would finish school, I had to be done by then, I tried not to let the worry wash over me, I don't know if letting her go to school when the Volturi were in town was a good idea, I wanted her safe with me, but I couldn't see any other way to keep her away. I felt a wave of calm, and I relaxed my stance slightly and smiled at Jaz, He smiled Back Gripping Alice and pulling her behind him slightly, Carlisle and Emmet did the same, their bodies stiffening at the sound of footsteps, rushing toward us.

My head snapped up '_why are we meeting here?' _I tensed, they had brought Alec, which should not have been a surprise, they always brought him, which means Jane would be here to. I listened for her thoughts and Stiffened, a low growl sounding in the back of my throat. '_they think they can hide that human from us, they must think we are stupid, ' _

_''_they know about Bella" I hissed through my teeth, stepping forward, right next to Carlisle. He nodded. "_what will you have me do Edward. We know what the Volturi think I liabilities, I will not let you risk her life, mate or is my daughter" _I tensed. I never wanted Bella to be changed, she did not deserve this life, But we all knew, deep down I knew that is was near impossible to keep Bella a secret. I would give my life, Before I would even think of changing her.

I stepped forward, standing slightly in front of my father, He placed his hand on my shoulder," _do what you need to do son, we will defend you no matter what "_I smiled tightly and nodded my thanks, Before turning to the three dark figures emerging from the woods.

Jane was in the center, flanked By Felix and Alec, they walked toward us at human pace. their faces blank, These three Vampires were lethal. We knew it and so did they. None of us moved, waiting for them to speak first.

Jane stopped only a few meters from us, no doubt she wanted to be closer, so if need be she would have no trouble using her gift on anyone of us. She slowly dropped her hood from her head and onto her shoulders, Alec and Felix did the same, standing close beside Jane.

Jane looked from me to Alice, a coy smile on her lips, Jasper growled, feeling the hate seething of Jane toward his mate. At first I didn't make sense of this, until I heard her thoughts, as she gazed at what she was sent to retrieve. _" how dare Aro think she, is as good or greater then me, " _I cut her off with a low growl, her head snapped to mine and she realized what I had heard, her eyes narrowed_, " ah the mind reader, I see why Aro would want him"_ she galred at me not liking her pravacy invaded, before loking toward the family letting out a bored sigh.

"It is nice to finally meet you all, I think you know why we are " she smiled, as she gestured to Alec and Felix, her face politely but her voice laced with evil.

Carlisle Stepped beside me " I am Carlisle Cullen and this is my family" he gestured behind him a polite smile on his calm face. " may I ask to why we are honored by your presence here today?" his voice was as calm as if he were talking to Esme. Jane smirked, and Felix snickered, looking to watch jane's face as he knew her next words.

" We are here, because we are aware of a human who happens to be part of a vampire, family? " she paused raising her eyebrows, "You know we do not stand for this, Aro will not stand for this, we can not live with liabilities." her tone was cold, and it took everything I had to not jump her right there.

"However" she glanced at me " As I am sure one of you already know, Aro has a...Bargain if you wish to call it that. for the Human's life" She spoke never taking her eyes of me, I glared at her, my mind already searching through her converstaions with aro as she spoke of him unable to control her thoughts. Carlisle grabbed my shoulder and I nodded, there was indeed a Bargain. Aro was taking advantage of his friend Carlisle, he knew He would not compromise our laws, he trusted him enough to know that 'our' human' was safe, however his brothers who were determined to keep the law and his ego decided to bargain. he had always wanted Alice and I.

Jane glared at Alice, her girly voice dripped with evil as she spoke " Aro wants Alice and Edward, to serve him for a number of years, once they are done, if they should decide to leave the volturi they may return to their family" she spat the last word, " this is the deal Aro is willing to make. If you choose No, Felix here has strict instructions to hunt down your human and change her himself. But we all know Felix is not known for his self control" she almost laughed. Nudging the huge vampire, beside her who grinned menacingly.

" You wont touch her!" I screamed at her, balling my fists to keep from ripping Felix's throat out. His mind playing how he loved to 'play with his food' as he glared at me, Carlisle gripped my shoulders pulling me back. But I already knew I couldn't fight them.

" I take that as a yes your coming" Jane smiled, her eyes bright with victory. Jasper snarled, grabbing Alice, and pulling her behind him, roughly. I turned to Alice, who was trembling behind Jasper. I could not let this happen, I know they will kill Jasper if he stands in their way. I know I can't live without Bella in this world and I won't let her go without a fight, Alice would do the same. It would kill her if she lost her mate, Jasper will never let Alice go, right now he is contemplating running with her. Alice and I can both see how that turns out as I read the vision she is having in her mind, Dimitri will find them. We both know it.

I shake my head at Jasper, who is shaking with Rage. Turning back to Jane, I have my own deal to make. I step forward, all three look smug, and felix is ready to take on Jasper, his muscles is aching for a fight. " There will be no need for that" I state calmly looking to Felix, Jane raises her brows Felix glares at me. " I Alone will serve Aro" I can feel My calm façade slipping, but I work to keep, it I don't want anyone to know how painful this is for me.

" Aro will only accept, the two of you or nothing" Jane states, her eyes angry. " Tell Aro that I alone, in trade for Alice, and Bella's life, will serve him, for as long as I live." She stared at me her eyes Narrowed. It was then she slipped andI conversation she had with Aro before leaving streamed through her thoughts, He knew this would happen and he was willing for either me or Alice, on changed terms of course. The terms I had just put forward would suit him perfectly.

She looked back to Alice, Hate in her eyes. She turned to me, " Aro expects you before him in two days, say your goodbyes, we will meet you at seattle airport tomorrow, at noon. If you are late, the human dies. " her tone was ice cold, as she raised her hood, as did Alec and Felix and turned, vanishing into the woods from where they had come. And just like that My fate was sealed.

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I ran back to the house at full speed. I had hunted, and now I was going back to Bella, I only had a few hours left with her, and I didn't want to waste a moment of it. I stepped inside.

The house was dark, I know they all wanted to talk to me, to try and persuade me to change her, But I won't. This is the best way, My life is for her, If a have to live it serving the Volturi to keep her safe and human, I will.

It was almost 11, Bella would Be in Bed, I flew up the stairs, and without hesitation stepped into her room. She was in a restless sleep, tossing and murmuring in the twisted covers. I shut the door, something I never do, but I wanted to be alone as I could be with her. Walking over to her I stared at her sleeping perfection, her hair was a mess already, her mouth slightly open occasionally she was murmur something unintelligible. I smoothed the blanket over her untangling her arms and legs Gently,Before slipping of my shoes, Jacket and pants, and slipped in beside her, This was new too. I had never removed more then my shoes, to sleep with her. still in my boxers, I tucked the blanket around her making a light barrier between her and me so she wouldn't freeze.

I brought the covers over me and brought her to me chest, planting my face in her hair inhaling as she automatically sunk into my hold, her body relaxing as it always did when I held her in her sleep.

As I stared at her, in the moonlight, I knew I had made the right decision. she was so innocent. So perfect. I traced her face gently with the tips of my fingers willing every curve of her face and neck to be instilled in my memory. every time she moved in her sleep I pulled her closer. Feeling every inch of her body pressed along the front of mine I shivered at the warmth of her, feelings rushed through me, that I welcomed, now that I knew what they were, what I have been feeling for a while but not till Esme told me that we were mates did I let myself recognize them. Lust, desire, and love. Love I have never felt for anyone else. Love only a mate could have.

I was shocked the first time it happened, when I first felt the strength of my physical desire for her. I have never even kissed or touched a woman in any way, I have never desired it, that changed. When Bella touched me it was different, her hands were hard against me I felt her eagerness and it sent shivers through my core, my hand traced the exposed skin on her Belly. I had not realized she felt the same rush I did till I smelt it, her arousal filled my nostrils and drove me wild. But I ran. I watched the hurt and devastation cross her face as I she watched me cling to wall to keep from running back to the bed and doing whatever my body desired. I wanted her. I could barely control the monster within, not for her blood, but for her. But I can't I could kill her. Another reason why it is a good thing I am leaving, at least I try to convince myself, but my thoughts are focused on what my body wants to do as I watch her sleep.

My breathing quickens as my hand traces down her waist, thinking of everything I wanted to do that morning. pleasure coursed through my stomach and down to my torso and thighs. I groaned, as I raised my hand from her hip and paces it back on her face, and began tracing again.

In the early hours of the morning I didn't let myself think, I just Held Bella and watched her, I would have years to think when I was alone. I watched sadly as the sun began filtering through the window. I reached out and turned off the alarm before it could wake her, I wanted to do that. I left it as long as possible before I planted soft kisses on her cheeks, eyes, forehead and the tip of her nose, circling again and again until she began to stir savouring the warm softness of her skin.

she yawned and stretched before opening her eyes. she smiled at me, a shy smile. I knew she would still remember the other morning, but I don't care, I had both arms tight around her lifting my body weight slightly as I was practically half on top of her. She glanced down to my chest which was shirtless, and blushed. I couldn't stop the smile spread across my face, "good morning Bella" I whispered, I watched as she raised her eyebrows at me, I wanted to kiss her, to leave with just having kissed her once, But I wasn't sure if it was a good idea, I didn't want to hurt her more then I was already. So instead, I planted kisses on her cheeks and nose as she whispered good morning, another blush on her cheeks.

I rolled over her playfully, nudging her jaw with my nose, she giggled and it was music to my ears. I made myself remember the sound, I jumped out of bed.

" I'll make you breakfast? blue berry pancakes?" I grabbed my shirt from the floor, and put it on as I spoke, It was quiet I turned to her and sat beside her on the bed. She sat up and just stared at me, Before an angry look crossed her face, " what's the go Edward Cullen?" her hand sweeped up and down my body as she spoke, her voice accusing. I honestly didn't know what I done. I just stared at her, willing what ever it was blocking he thoughts from me to go die.

"what?" I was confused, " the other morning you run from me because I touch you, yet here you are with practically no clothes on!" she pretty much yelled the last words, and I cringed, now the whole family knew. I had no idea what to say, I opened my mouth a few times before I smirked.

"are you attracted to Me Bella" I laughed as she rolled her eyes. But I stopped short when she threw off the covers and huffed as she got out of bed. Her shirt barely covering the tops of her thighs. My gaze lingered in the creamy white skin of her calves and thighs, when one of her fingers, tilted my chin up to her face, If I could blush I would be bright red, as I looked up to her sly smirk.

"what are you staring at Edward" her voice laced with fake innocence, I stuttered, here I was over 100 years old and I was stuttering. I always knew what to say, how to act. But Now I was completely lost,So instead I just stared like an idiot. She met my eyes with hers and we stared like that for a long moment, our eyes locked. I reached out for her both my arms extended, as my hands reached her hips she stepped forward into my embrace, I pulled her onto my lap, My mind screamed at me to stop, that this was going to hurt later. But I needed it. I can't leave without this. I need her to know that I love her, I wouldn't be able to live with knowing that maybe she doesn't know.

She sat, straddling my thighs, I pulled her close, feeling the heat from her pressing against me, her fingers weaved through my hair, she seemed perfectlyat ease as we stared for a moment longer before her eyes dropped to my lips. I did the same, her soft lips parted slightly, I leaned in and closed my eyes, I felt her fingers clamp tight in my hair before her lips forcefully hit mine, we both moaned in unison as we let out mouths fight for dominance, it was nothing like the first kiss I had imagined soft and sweet, we were too pent up for that. But I loved it, my hands moved over her back, up her neck and into her hair pulling her mouth harder into mine. I moaned loudly as her hands made there way under my shirt, over my chest and ribs. her warm, tiny hands sending shudders through me.

She grunted into my mouth as she pulled apart my shirt, buttons flying everywhere, I laughed gently as I lay back pulling her on top of me, she cocked an eyebrow about to say something when I cut her off with my lips. I wanted more, I forced her mouth open, and our tongues met, she moaned, the sound sent me over the edge, I felt frantic. My hands were all over her, my hips lifted on instinct grinding into her heat, the smell of her arousal filled the air, I inhaled deeply, loving it.

We started meeting each other, she thrust down onto me grinding against her. I hoped I wasn't hurting her, butI think that even if I was I wouldn't be able to stop. She broke away from the kiss, gasping for air, her face falling into my neck, I started leaving opened mouthed kisses along any skin I could reach, her jaw her neck. I tried to keep my hands gentle but It was the hardest thing I have ever done. All I could here was her moans in my ear as we continued grinding into each other, our pace quickening. Her body just as eager as mine.

My stomach tensed like I have never felt before, pleasure building in my torso, I knew I couldn't stop, I didn't want to stop. My boxers were soaked, as she ground her self into me, her hands pulling at my hair. My hands gripped her bottom and I pressed her into me, making her rub right where I wanted her to as I let out my own moans, I have never felt anything so good. My body shook in complete bliss as I heard her moaning my name again again pulling at my hair, an animalistic half moan half roar filled the room as I came down from my ecstasy. Bella's body trembling on top of me. As her moans increased in pitch. I watched her, Her face flushed with pleasure as she came down from her own high.

We lay there, Not needing to say anything, our breathing erratic, both of our pants drenched. I knew no one would be coming up to let Bella know she was nearly late for school, they all heard our activities. I smiled, lifting Bella off me gently and moving to sit up. she rolled off me as I leaned over to kiss her lips, I broke away first smiling as she pouted up at me, whispering quietly " Ill get your breakfast, while you get dressed, " she groaned and rolled off the bed. I chuckled as I picked up my clothes and quickly ducked into my room to clean up.

I wanted to hold her all morning, but I knew she needed to go to school. I would be leaving in a few hours, and she couldn't know where or why I was going, Alice would tell her something when she got home, but I wanted to give her one more normal morning before I left I braced my self as I left my room, this was going to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my existence. But it had to be done. I had this morning with her. little did she know that she had just given my the best goodbye present I could ask for.

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AUTHORS NOTE

I hope you like this chapter, please let me know . I am still thinking of how to reunite Edward and bella. there are so many different ways but getting out of a life contract with a bunch of vampires is no small feat.

let me know if you have any ideas:)

shens


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHORS NOTE: there is a rape scene in this chapter so beware! Please review, sorry It has taken so long to update. hopefully only a few days till the next one. I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT **

**CHAPTER 5 **

**BELLA **

"Bella Cullen, please come to the school office immediately" I whispered a silent Thankyou, as I heard my name being called over the PA. Since I have come to school without Edward, Mike has attached himself to me, I don't mind so much, he gives me something other then Edward to think about. I don't always listen to his pathetic ramblings of what he does at parties, or the bike he is saving for. But it good to hear something other than my own voice in my head. Maybe I'm going mad, Maybe constantly imagining it was his arm around me rather then Mike's. Wishing is was he whispering in my ear in class. I know I shouldn't be leading him on like this, But I let him touch me, I let him whisper in my ear when we are in class, I read his notes slipped into my bag. But I as I feel his arms snake around my waist at the lunch table, or read the note slipped into my bag, which I am usually disappointed with. My mind wonders to Him. Edward.

Grabbing my bag I quickly duck from mikes hold, and walk across the lunch room. I pull my hood over my head, as I step into the drizzle. I wonder Why I could possibly be called to the office for, I gather it is family, If it was me I would be going to the principal's office. I sweep the parking lot for a familiar car, It must be Carlile or Esmé, as their black Mercedes is parked almost directly in front of the office. My Volvo Is across the lot, It was Edwards Volvo, but when He left He took His Vanquish. I love that car, I will never get rid of it. Never. The last I saw him, was in that car. I should have known something was wrong then But I was too stupid. I was still caught up in that mornings events that I didn't notice How he practically forced himself to kiss me on the cheek as I left. His voice was cold and bland As He said goodbye. I should have known something was wrong, That he was obviously disgusted with me, for what I did that morning. I have tried to remember what really happened, I know I kissed him, and did a lot more, but I'm sure He kissed me back. But maybe he didn't, Maybe I was so caught up in my dream, I had always wanted to kiss him, To have him touch me like I constantly saw from the rest of my family. I wanted to marry Him. I wanted to Become like Him. But I was a silly stupid girl. I was so caught up in my dreaming I never realized He may not love like that at all, He probably thought I was disgusting what I did to him. I found that out the hard way.

I almost bumped into my pacing Father as I stumbled into the Office. "Ah Bella. there is a family emergency, you have been excused, c'mon we have to go now!" HE never even looked to the Mrs cope who sat behind her desk, her cheeks red and her eyes glazed over. He gripped my hand and pulled me out of the office and to his car, His pace was quick, I was almost jogging, his brows were furrowed and his mouth was in a tight line. I have never seen him like this, Carlisle was always calm and cool. He opened the passenger door for me and I got in, "what about my car?" I asked as he got into the car, and started it, he pulled out as soon as the car started, his tires squealing slightly against the tar, as he pulled out of the lot, way to fast. " leave it here, it will give us some time" is voice was worried. "Bella as soon as we get home I want you to pack a small carry bag with items you will need for a few days. change your clothes into something fresh, Esme and Rose will put on some of your things as well. " He handed me a small silver phone, "leave yours at home, take this one, It has all our number in it. " I took it and placed it in the front pocket of my bag, I would pack this one as It was easy to carry and small and I had no idea where I was going or what was wrong.

He skidded to a stop in front of the house, and jumped out. Esme was at my door in a second, She didn't wait for me, she picked me up and dashed into my room in the third floor. "Bella pack two changes of clothes and toiletries, I will grab clothes for rose and I. And here, This is the charger for the phone, I stuffed into the same pocket as the phone, grabbing underwear and my toothbrush, soap and two pairs of jeans, t shirts and a hoodie I zipped up my bag and bounded down the stairs after Esme.

Everyone was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs, Alice was leaning into jasper, and Esme was shaking, holding back sobs, leaning into Carlisle her head in his shoulder. He rubbed her shoulders soothingly, whispering something into her ear as she nodded. Only Emmet looked calm. But that didn't really help me much, He was always calm. I did think though that Carlisle was calmer but it seems I was wrong. Rose was at his side. But she was looking at Esme. I got to the bottom step and I was just about to explode, Carlisle had only called me from the school 20 minutes ago, but nobody and told me what was going on yet. It was about to drive me insane.

"Bella, We don't have time to tell you everything, but It is imperative that you follow our instructions to the T. Ok?" Carlisle spoke, his voice was his usual calm once again. I nodded. watching as everyone looked to Carlisle. "You will travel with Alice and Jasper to California, they will keep in touch with me and Esme, WE will drive to New york, and Emmet and Rose will run up to Alaska then circle back down to you, that will take at least two days." He handed me a folded map from his pocket and credit card. "Once Alice tells you, you will drive back up to washington yourself, Alice will tell you what names to use." I pocketed the card and placed the map in my bag. "Why?" It was the only thing I could say. so many things were circling through me head as to what could have possibly brought this on. "We don't want you to panick, Alice thinks it best if you don't know. We don't want to hide this from you Bells But I think It will be best also. We can handle it on our own. just be wary. I want you to text us of your whereabout every hour or so." Again I just nodded. Carlisle brought me in for a hug and Esme also wrapped her arms around me and Carlisle, we stayed that way for a long time. Until Emmet broke the silence., "don't worry Bells. I guarantee that in a week we will be back here celebrating christmas."

He scooped me into his huge hug as soon as I was free, and swung me around, as usual bringing out a smile. He always did. Rose hugged me then, It was kinda weird, I never hugged Rose. I don't know why, I hugged everyone else in the family, all the time. But since Edward left she hasn't been around me much. Once I had hugged everyone, I was left in a blur, almost instantly I could hear the cars running in the Garage. I quickly ran down the porch steps to where Alice was waiting in front of Carlisle Mercedes. "we will take this one, It wont be so conspicuous when you drive it back." She pulled my bag of me and flung onto the backseat, "toilet now bells cause we wont' be stopping for a while" She stated, she was serious but a slight smile played on her lips as I concentrated for just a second to see if indeed there was an inking there. Nothing. "I'm fine" I smirked, as she laughed, she flew to the passenger side and got in. I crawled in after her shutting the door. There were blankets and a pillow set out for me, as well as some water. It would take a good 10 hours to get to Cali and that was with there freak driving, when I drove back I would have to stop at least once. I really did love the perks of being a Vampire. Not having to sleep there was one high on my list, or not having to use the bathroom. But one thing I loved was food, I would really miss that. It was nice to create something, to be able to go to restaurants and also enjoy christmas dinner, which I had always done by myself. The family would sit around the table with me, while I ate the huge feast Esmé would cook me every year. But I knew I could give that up easily. Well sort off. I definitely wasn't ready yet. Not that me and the others had ever spoken of it. But I hoped it was on the agenda at some point.

I am pulled from my thoughts by Alice, her loud gasp followed by extreme stillness. I was used to it by now. She was seeing something. Jasper slowed down but didn't stop, we were only just out of forks. After a few minutes Alice pulled out her phone and dialed Carlisle. She spoke to fast for me to understand, so I quickly lost interest. I pulled the pillow and blanket from the seat and laid them out. laying down I gazed out the window, looking up to the tops of the trees zooming by. I hope Emmet was right. Having no idea except for that it's best I don't know is going to drive me bonkers.

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I woke as sunlight spilled through the small gaps between the drapes and the window sill. Stretching I looked around the room, A motel room, the printed drapes matched the bed spread and the picture frames. A phone sat on the bedside table beside the bed along with a bar fridge next to the TV stand. I flipped off the covers just as I heard the key jingle in the lock of my room's door and Alice danced in. I stood up and stretched, "Good morning" I tried to speak through my yawn stretching onto my tiptoes.

"You mean afternoon Bells" she chimed jumping onto my bed, "whatever"I sighed. I quickly ducked into the bathroom, glad to see that my bag was sitting on the basin. After brushing my teeth and changing my jeans and shirt I grabbed my bag and walked out to the bed, to see a smiling Alice watching me as I put the kettle on that was in the small hutch above the bar fridge. I turned to her leaning on the counter, raising my eyebrows at her in question. She looked back at me Her grin only getting wider if that were possible, it really did seem to take up half of her face. "Your happy Today Alice" I smirked, Her mood was rubbing off on me, after a good few hours sleep I was feeling much better then I had late last night. It took A lot of calming vibes and a long phone call to Carlisle to calm me down. I worked myself up into a fit. I think I was over tired, I demanded Alice to tell me what was going on but she insisted that I stay ignorant to most of it, that it would be safer for me. I still don't like it but I realize don't have to act like a spoilt child. I can handle things like an adult now, I wish my family would listen to me, But I know that acting like a child won't help my case.

"I'd say the same to you Bells, its funny what sleep can do, Hey?" she laughed, I poked my tongue at her, I was slightly embarrassed at my actions but I was tired. "yeah sorry Alice, did I call you a bitch last night?" I asked meekly, spinning around as the kettle shut of, I hunted down a coffee cup and found coffee and sugar sachet. "Yeah you did, but I forgive you. I understand you have a had a tough two years, I have been expecting a breakdown of some sort for a while now." I didn't answer, I don't like speaking of him. Not even to Alice, I know the whole family know what happened that morning he left. But I have never spoken of it to anyone, I don't know whether I want to keep it almost sacred, or I am simply embarrassed, I think it is a mix of the two. But I know I would die of embarrassment If I was to ever admit that I wanted it, only to have him come home, if he ever does and not want to ever come near me. I sipped my coffee letting it scold my throat. I turned back to face Alice. Her expression was filled with sympathy. I hate that I don't want people to think I was the poor girl left behind with a broken heart, which just so happened that I was. But I didn't want to Admit it. I can handle it. "I'm fine Alice" I replied nonchalantly, taking another sip.

"I wonder why I don't believe that" her tone was sarcastic, I rolled my eyes, as she quirked an eyebrow at me. "We all notice Bells," she spoke plainly "Notice what?" I asked keeping my voice uninterested. "We notice that you never sleep more then a few hours at a time, that whenever you wake from a bad dream you sit in his room. We are all worried about you Bella, you have lost so much weight, Carlisle is worried about you. You look sickly." She stopped waiting to hear what I had to say, crossing her arms over her chest, "thanks Alice" I laughed, trying to brush it off, But I know it was all true. Every word. I was stupid thinking I could hide it. But the weight loss, and the purple bruises under my eyes, from many nights of lost sleep spoke loudly of what I was really feeling. I tried to drown it by studying, or hanging around Mike and his friends. But I could never escape the hollow ache in my chest, it made breathing hard, sleep was impossible unless I was exhausted. Many times I have tried to cover up when I have been sick, from exhaustion But I know Carlisle knew. I would find multivitamins in my bathroom or in my bag.

Alice huffed, before a teasing smirk lit up her face, "Alice don't!" I did not want to go there, not now not ever. "Bells we all heard, c'mon spill it, I'm dying to know, He has been so...alone" she was almost giggling like a silly teenager. I sipped my coffee, glaring at her. She was never going to learn, I don't talk about this. "Alice I am not going there," She pouted, I looked down into my coffee cup, I wouldn't mind talking about it, I had so many things I wanted to talk about with My older sister. I had almost seem myself talking about these sorts of things with her, laughing painting our nails. But they were silly daydreams.

"Bella you can tell me, I wont ever breathe a word to another soul, A girl needs to talk about these things. You don't have to bottle everything up." She rose off the bed and stood in front of me. placing both of her tiny hands on my shoulders. I kept my gaze down at my coffee, trying to blink away the tears that were threatening to spill over, My breathing started to come out in short bursts and my hands trembled. Small hands took the coffee cup from my grasp and pulled me to sit on the edge of the bed. I tried to take deep breaths but the lump in my throat became unbearable. Tears streaked down my face, I tried to wipe them away but cold hands grabbed my hands away, replacing mine in wiping my hot cheeks. I fell into her lap, doubling over almost and let the sobs loose. It felt good to cry, But better to let someone know that I was hurting, No matter that there was no words I felt relieved that I could cry and someone was there to rub my back, that someone was listening. My family has always been here for me, and I have known that. but for two years I have tried fruitlessly to hide what I really feel. I feel broken and Empty trying to fill the void with the physical when I had been to stubborn to cry or to talk about anything. Alice was right. I did need to talk. I felt better just crying. I know i t would feel good to voice my fears and my heartbreak to someone. And I trusted Alice. I cried for a long time. Emptying two years of tears and frustration onto my sister, soaking her dress as she rubbed soothing circled into my back and stroked my hair. Eventually I felt calmer, my sobbing slowed, I could take deep breaths again. I slowly sat up and dried my eyes, My face was hot and I didn't need a mirror to know my eyes were red and puffy.

Jasper was sitting in a chair next to the bed. I smiled at him slightly embarrassed that he had seen my like that. Forgetting for a moment about mu hissy fit last night. "Don't be embarrassed Bella, you don't need to hide your feelings" I nodded. I have always known he can feel everything I am feeling so I tried to keep myself in check when he was around. But often I would find him outside my bedroom door whenever I woke up from a bad dream. But usually he stayed away from me. I know its nothing personal but feeling everyone's emotions he is drawn naturally to happy people, and that definitely isn't me. He and Alice would go hunting or shopping on my really bad days. I still feel guilty. I have ruined an entire family with my careless actions. I drove Edward away. Esme has never been the same. And Carlisle lost his first son, He and Edward have always shared a special relationship. I feel the guilt everyday, a weight that gets heavier and heavier whenever I think about it.

"why are you feeling guilty Bella" Jasper asked, leaning forward in this chair. I looked to Alice who looked concerned she to leaned forward slightly. I shrugged "I tore a family apart because I was stupid. I can see what it has done to everyone. Him leaving. It should be me who left, not Him" My voice shook slightly, another round of tears threatening to show up. I quickly looked down to my feet hanging of the end of the bed.

A small, cold hand tipped my chin up. "where the Hell did you get that from" Alice asked, sounding almost pissed off. again I shrugged, I didn't know what to answer, without letting to much go. "well, He left after-" I looked at Jasper who stared back intently, I turned to Alice who looked like she was going to erupt, "He left after That morning, obviously he couldn't ever love me like I loved him, He didn't even say goodbye to me" I broke off, my vioce becoming to broken to continue I looked down embarrassed, I knew they knew what I was talking about. How they would know he was disgusted with me, that to face me again was abhorrent to him. My whole body shook with a sob a tried to hold back. My eyes were to sore for more tears but they came anyway.

"Hey" Alice cupped my face with both hands, bringing my gaze up to hers. "your so wrong Bella" she whispered, her eyes were sad, I hiccupped, shaking my head. If I were wrong why did he leave? "Bella I promise you He loved you. He still does love you" It took my awhile to get the words out, but eventually I voiced the question I have wanted to ask for so long, a question I did ask two years ago when I came home from school to fond him gone, They all just said 'he does this sometimes' leaves without warning they never know when he will be back, eventually Carlisle confirmed he wouldn't be back.

"Why did he leave?" I sobbed. "Bella I wasn't by choice, I want to tell you, but if I did there is nothing we can do about it now anyway, But I can tell you this, you will be happy soon Bella you deserve it" her vioce was stern, I knew this Alice, she was sure. But how could she be?

Alice left her hands on my face But she turned to Jasper, I could hear him speaking, his voice too low for me to decipher. Alice nodded and turned back to me placing one of my hands in both of hers. She stared past me for a full minute, her eyes glazing over Before she spoke to me, while giving a quick nod to Jasper who darted from the room "It's time to go Bella, you can take the Mercedes, Jasper and I will stay here, We will text you every hour to update you on where everyone is, as well as to see where you are" I nodded as Alice gently pushed me off the bed. She quickly ducked into the bathroom grabbing my bag, She pulled out my phone and placed it in the pocket of my jeans. Jasper waltzed back in the room and grabbing my bag and holding the door open for Alice and I.

After Jaz showed me how to use the GPS in the Mercedes and placing my phone on charge in the car, I said goodbye to Alice and Jasper. I tried to reign in the feeling eating at my stomach, I knew the plan, But I wasn't sure I like it, But I trusted My father and ALice who would know straight away if anything changed. It was the only way that They could do anything about it. So I didn't vioce my fears.

I drove out of the motel parking lot and started the long journey back to washington. I would have to stop once maybe twice, depending on how tired I got, or if Alice thought it would help. But I hoped that I would be home with my family safe by the end of tomorrow. All Alice could tell me was that the person we were trying to out run was a Tracker, and that his gift worked much like Edward's does. He uses the essence of his 'preys' mind to find them, At first Carlisle suspected, that he won't be able to find me. that I will block him, like used to with Edward. That seemed to be confirmed, so Alice waited till he made the decision that would make it safe for me to head home. backtracking over my scent.

After and hour of driving my phone buzzes with a text I pull over and grab my phone from the console. It was from Alice asking me where I was I replied that I was passing through Sacramento and that once through I would stop at the first town for the night as it was already 4 pm. I sent the text and set the phone back on charge. I wish I could have left earlier, but I was already quite tired. After my fit last night I couldn't sleep until this morning, as usual I woke after only a few hours. I longed for the time when I could sleep and wake up refreshed like I used to. Or at least me able to sleep without the dreams, making me feel more worn then before I slept.

Another hour later and I was just out of Sacramento. My phone buzzed again I checked it again, this time without stopping. It was Carlisle. I replied with my whereabout and plans and I promised to call as soon as I found a place to stay. There was a small town only a few miles ahead. I decided I would stay here the night, barely keeping my eyes open even though it was only five.

I pulled into a rundown hotel. parking in front if the office I left my car and walked into the Office, It looked as though it had seen better days, the wallpaper was peeling and the placed reeked of stale beer, an overweight middle-aged man sat behind the dirty counter top. Walking up to the counter, I cleared my throat to grab his attention from the baseball game He was watching on the old TV, He sat with his back to me the old swivel chair creaking loudly as he turned it toward me.

"Hi " I smiled at him, He just grunted, I just kept smiling, "I would like to rent a room for the night?" He grabbed a ledger book and flicked through the worn pages. "JUst you?" His asked his voice a little higher than I was expecting. It took me a moment to answer, "yes just one " He flicked through the pages "name?" He grabbed a pen and looked up at me. "Marie Anthony" I replied, remembering that Carlisle told me to use a fake name.

After paying the fee up front and taking my key I headed to my room. Parking right outside my door I grabbed my bag and key and opened the door to the room, It was old and worn, but It was clean enough. Dumping my bag on the chair next to the bed I inspected the bathroom. Again it was old. The basin groaned when I turned it on and I decided I wouldn't be using the toilet seat.

I fell onto the bed. It squeaked and leaned slightly to one side but It was comfortable enough and I was too tired to care anyway, I looked up at alarm clock that sat on the bedside table, It was almost 6:30. I had to call Carlisle.

* * *

I woke in the dark. I was stretched over the bed, my arms up above my head. I moved my arms to switch on the lamp but they stayed above my head. I tried to move them again but something soft was tied around both my wrists and then to the metal frame of the bed. I kicked my feet and they too were bound, they weren't tied to anything but they were tied together. I looked over to the alarm clock, the only source of light in the room, it was almost 11 pm, I was supposed to call when I got in. Shit!Imust have fallen asleep. My breathing started to pick up as I struggled in vain to free my wrists. I kicked and writhed till I was sobbing, my hair sticking to my face, wet with hot tears. I was so caught up in myself that it took me awhile to hear the quiet laughing coming from the chair next to the bed. I turned my head and tried in vain to see past the hair stuck to my face. I squinted, trying to see in the darkness. I could only see something slightly lighter then the green wall paper. He continued to laugh at me, My breathing still laboured and my chest still heaving with the aftermath of my sobbing fit.

"I like a fighter" He spoke. I froze at his voice, it was deep and coated in a thick Italian Accent. I knew who this was. HE found me.

I tried to free my wrists, I thrashed and arched of the bed. Tears again, wetting the matte of hair stuck to my face. I heard the bed creak loudly and my body rolled slightly towards Him as he sat on the bed beside me. I scrambled as far from him as I could, But his huge body loomed over me. His Hands brushed my thigh as he leaned his face into my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath, turning my face away from him. I whimpered as His large hand travelled up my thigh, past my stomach and over my breast, He stopped at my face, pulling the hair away before stroking my jaw.

"Bella. The name suits you." He laughed again, and it sent shivers down my spine. Before I could register what he was doing His fingers ripped my shirt open. I gasped as His fingernail caught my skin and blood immediately seeped from the long wound down my stomach. I froze. So did he. I didn't know how he would react around human blood. His hand was still for a moment before his finger ran along the cut dipping into the blood already pooling in my navel before bringing them to his mouth. He moaned loudly and I closed my eyes tightly. Trying to escape. I could feel the sting as he repeated the action many times. His sounds getting almost feral. I kept my eyes closed. Trying to drown out the sounds. I hummed the lullaby Edward sang me since I was a little girl in my mind. I knew it wouldn't be long. I cried silently as I tried to make my last thoughts worth while.

I was thinking of Edward, remembering every happy memory I had of him, there were many. I let my mind dwell on them. Taking my away from here. From my death. My tears did not ebb as that thought kept poking to the forefront of my mind. In a quick movement My shirt and Bra were torn completley off, I cried out at the shock. The monster, chuckled and sat up, walking to the foot of the bed he ripped off my shoes, and drop them on the floor at his feet. I couldn't help the pathetic sounds that escaped me. Begging him to stop, I knew my pleas were useless. From the sounds he was making it seemed to spur him on, But I could stop I could let go of the last thing I had left. I felt so embarrased so disgusting, I felt open with my arms above my head, I had no way to cover my chest. I couldn't see in the dark but I knew the monster would have no trouble. He could look at me and there was nothing I could do about it. My chest heaved with sobs as I felt his cold fingers at the zipper of my jeans. With one quick flick he had unbuttoned them He quickly tore them off my legs, keeping my feet bound. My sobs started to get loud but I couldn't stop, again I uselessly tried to get my hands free. The bed creaking and groaning. under me. As his hands touched my underware I started to scream. Someone had to hear me! i screamed as loud as I could before I was interrupted by a sob and a cold hand over my mouth.

Without a word he ripped the sheet beside me and stuffed it in my mouth, I screamed around it choking on my sobs but all that could be heard was muffled cries. No one would hear me. But I kept going. I felt cold hand grip my underwear and rip them off. I kicked and bucked under him, his huge hands resting on my thighs. He pressed down painfully on my shins. Slowly getting harder and harder until two loud cracks echoed through the room. I saw stars. I Went mad as pain so unbearable shot through my legs. His had still heavy over the broken bones. I couldn't get enough air as i screamed around the gag in my mouth. My throat stated to burn as my screams never stopped. His hands left my shins and the pain eased slightly. He crawled over my body until his face was level with mine. He watched me as my screams died down and I focussed on getting enough oxygen into my lungs. I closed my eyes, refusing to look at him as he hovered above me.

He spoke something in Italian before he leaned down, his face hovering over my breast, I felt his mouth on me and My insides twisted. I gulped to hold down the bile. Thankful that I had not eaten in a while. His mouth stayed at my chest for what seemed like hours. I could only cry into the gag, as I lay limp on the bed under him. I could no longer feel my feet but pain surged through my legs with every tiny movement. My eyes flashed open when I heard a belt buckle being undone. his mouth came away as he sat up between my legs, I cried out at the pain as My knees pushed out my feet forced together. I worked at keeping my breathing steady, The feeling of never getting enough oxygen, of suffocating terrified me.

I didn't scream this time as he moved my legs, I bit down on the gag, determined not to make another sound. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of hearing my cry out. I bit down hard. focussing on breathing. i closed my eyes and tried to go back to my happy memories. Endless tears fell as I prayed that someone would find me in time. I hadn't rung Carlisle and it was past midnight. He would know something was wrong. Surely Alice would see something. They must be on there way. Please god. I begged over and over.

I wasn't ready for what came next. There is no way to ever be ready for what he did. With one powerful thrust he forced himself into me. The scream erupted from my throat before I could come to my senses. Before I could even take a breath he withdrew and did it again. Feral sounds sounding from him. I couldn't keep the screams from forming. his hands grabbed my hips and pulled my down to meet his thrusts. My entire lower body burned. my broken bones contending with the burning pain of his thrusts. I couldn't breathe, my screams came violently as his hands snapped the bones where they squeezed my hips. I felt his fingers graze the cut on my stomach. the blood was lesser now but he continued to lick his fingers of it.

I went limp, The occasional snap earned a involuntary scream from my throat as I was limply jerked about under him. I began to see patched of red and white under my closed lids and I prayed the end was near. Eventually the red gave way to black and pain started to drift away, it was heaven, and I welcomed it wholeheartedly.


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6 **

**EDWARD**

* * *

Emmet is silent as He drives us toward Forks. My mind takes note of the green surrounds of home, but I am far to distraught to even bother with the feeling of being free. Of being near my family. My brother is concentrating on the bear he last took down with as much taunting as possible, keeping his thoughts away from Bella. Away from what he saw that night. He replays over and over as we enter The small town, passing the first of the falling apart homes.

Bella has been moved to forks hospital after her condition stabilized. No one has told me the full extent of her injuries. I don't want to know. I don't want to know the full extent of how badly I failed her. I put the Blame on myself, otherwise I blame my father. The selfish part of me would find it easier to do that. He risked the life of my mate,. The reason I exist in this World. The reason I sold my life away, to protect her from the THIS. It is easier, I would be completely justified in doing so. He promised me that he would protect her for me. His decision to risk her life, to send her alone into he clutches of a monster is unforgivable. I can't imagine how terrified she must have been, alone with Him. I am indebted to my Brother Emmet, who sits beside me seeking no praise, He killed Him, The monster that stole My Bella's innocence. My mind almost caves in on itself when I think of how he must have hurt her. I can't think of the things he could have done to her beautiful body, I have seen how sick his mind can be. I have witnessed his thoughts from after the feedings, how he tortures the women he kills. My fists clench, my nails digging into the stone hard flesh of my palm, The sound of stone gouging into stone sounds through the car earning a worried look from Emmet. He grips my shoulder his mind trying to offer comfort. He knows what I am thinking about. He has felt the same severe hatred for the men who stole Rose's innocence. I look over at my brother. The happy face I have known for so long is marred with worry, His thought can't help but occasionally drift to wonder how his baby sister will ever recover, His eyes drift to somewhere far away and IO cringe at the brief glimpses of Bella, naked, covered in blood. Only for a spilt second did I see the gruesome images. But It's enough to haunt me fort he rest of my days. I will Be forever indebted to my Brother. Forever earning my worth In Bella's life.

We swing into the hospital parking lot, Parking next to My fathers Mercedes. I can already hear the minds Of my family. I can see the Tiny form covered in tubes, Humming machines almost drown out the sounds of her heartbeat. I curl over myself, pulling my hair Hard, something I have done relentlessly since My father called me almost two days ago. I rest my head on my knees Breathing a few deep breaths before exiting The Jeep. Emmet waits beside me as I try to calm myself enough to walk in and see my family for the first time in almost two years.

We enter the hospital together. I'm almost leaning on Emmet as he guides me through the halls to Bella's room, I try to concentrate on Bella's heartbeat, Her breathing is loud, in sync with the whirring and buzzing of a machine. I realize she isn't breathing, the machine is doing it for her. My steps falter, Emmet pulls me up tighter and pulls me toward the end of the short hall, toward my Bella. I tell myself this over and over I need to do this, for her. i don;t matter I can endure anything for her.

There is no movement from my family as we near the door of Her room, I hardly notice that my breathing is almost panting, My weight on Emmet, his arm wrapped around me, holding me to him. His thoughts worried about me, as they have been since he first saw me at seattle airport. On the plane here, many of the other passengers thought I had cancer, I had never taken notice of my appearance in Italy. I hunted only when I was desperate, when the sounds and smells of The feeding habits of The Volturi becoming to much for me. I hadn't hunted in months. My eyes must be jet black, The humans noted the deep purple bruises under my eyes, My sickly pallor and the tightness of my skin around my bones. It seems that A vampire can starve, maybe not to death. but that can become sickly looking, I lacked the energy to even bother in appearing human on the flights here, I sit still as a statue my mind sick with worry. Preparing for a phone call at anytime telling me i had lost her. I was prepared to turn round and beg for my death at the hands of those who had once owned me.

We stand outside her door, Emmet waits for me to open it, his mind full concern as I stare at the door blankly, for a good minute before a thin hand gently nudges it open.

I stand there, as my family looks back at me. I hear thier thoughts echo the same thing around the room, one by one they notice my sickly, weak appearance, worry marks their faces. I don't move I glance from one face to the next. They havn't changed. Only that look slightly older from stress, The lines of stress marring thier perfect faces. My mother steps forward, Her arms open. Her eyes glisten with venom. I stare at her for a moment, before almost throwing myself at her. Her arms wrap around me like a vise, as I hang limp supported by My mother. I let my face fall into her neck, breathing in her scent. The smell of my mother will forever bring comfort. I realize just how alone I have been, dealing with my desolation I have not been the man I always thought myslef to be, I stayed at Aro's call, He the only thing that kept my from digging myself a hole and never crawling out. For days I would sit in my cold room, taking no comfort in the bed or chair provided, I laid on the stone floor. crawled up and waited for fate to swallow me.

Now, in mothers arms I could almost breathe again, But the arms I really craved. The arms I dreamed of for every day I was away was the broken girls on the bed. I stiffened, My eyes peering through the hair of my mother as I stared at the thin, sickly looking Bella.

sliding away from Esme I once again take in the 6 pairs of eyes staring at me. Before I can move another step toward the bedside I am jumped by a tiny Alice, She hits me like a stone. Her face resting on my shoulder as I wrap my arms around my favorite sister. No words are said, her mind anxious yet happy to see me, She has not left Bella's side since the 'accident', I am forever grateful, Bella loved Alice.

I freeze, My own words hitting me like a cannon ball. I try to correct myself but it's too late, The fears I tried to never let grip me have torn through. She 'Loves' Alice I thought, over and over.

after a brotherly hug to jasper, who has filled the room with calm since I walked in, I turn to Bella. My back to my family. I trace my fingers over the bandages on her wrists, up her arms and over her face. Her body is thin, Much thinner then when I left her. Bruises cover her upper arms Her gown hiding her shoulders, which surely are covered in bruises as well. The blanket rises and falls with her breathing, The thick tube providing air into her lungs looks uncomfortable. I slump into the chair beside her bed and gently take her hand, carefull not to disturb the thick IV branching off on to smaller cords leading to numerous bags hung over her head, I rest my head on the bed and try to drown out the drone of the many machines keeping her alive.

I ignore the thoughts coming from the sad man standing in the back corner of the small room. He never took his eyes off me, his mind almost distraught. I thought I was ready, I thought I could forgive what he did. I don't lift my head as he takes quiet steps toward me, His breath hitching in held back sobs. I can hear from his thoughts that He is more sorry then he can ever put into words, That he is terrified of losing his daughter, that not second goes by that he wouldn't give his own life to save the damage that has been done to hers. I don't move as the rest of my family leave the room, I feel I light hand on my shoulder something that has always been comforting. I shrug it off, and try not hear the quiet muffled sobs in the hall into my mothers shoulder.

* * *

**4 MONTHS LATER**

Bella is coming home today. The doctors and Carlisle agree that it may her help her 'wake up'. the girls have set up her old room, making room for the machines, setting fresh flowers in vases on almost every surface, they plan on surrounding her with everything she loved, including cooking her favorite meals, playing her favorite music. They all remain hopeful. Carlisle has devoted every second of the day in researching everything about coma patients, He already knows almost everything there is to know but He feels Helpless. So He stays in his office at the hospital or in his library for the few days he is forced home by Esme, reading, trying to find something that may help her out of her comatose.

Alice is a rock to our mother. Although Her visions show nothing in Bella's future. She has tried to keep it from the family, she is constantly near Esme, whispering words of hope and comfort to Esme as she cries by Bella's Bedside. I feel terrible that I can not comfort her, I sit beside her. trying to hold back my own tears let alone bearing the grief of others.

It's hard for me and My father to be in the same room, I stand quietly in the back as he performs his daily routine over her. I have tried to speak to him, tried to forgive him for what he has done. I feel as though I am justified in blaming him, in making him pay for what he has taken from me, I asked him to keep her safe. If this had have happened with him doing everything he could to protect her it would be different. but he sent her. Alone with no protection. She was bait. Bait for a perverted monster who almost took her from me, in the most degrading act any woman can suffer. If she does ever wake I dread to think how she will handle it.

It took years for Rose to find any solace, She found it difficult to even be with her Husband, Emmet for the first time. She still holds a prejudice against men, Her mind forever altered. She lost the gift she could have given her husband. She claims that it doesn't bother , her, That she really was innocent when she was first with Emmet, But I know her thoughts, The self loathing she struggled with for almost a decade, thinking she was dirty. Emmet tried in vain for years to try and convince her he never thought so her as that. That to him she was beautiful and perfect. That a man who forced her did not take her pride or perfection, in his eyes she was always innocent. But she never accepted it, not for years. Until one day she just chose to move on. SHe has never thought of herself as such since, but she has the terrible memories that will forever burden her.

I watch Rose pack the creams and balms that they daily rub over Bella's skin to prevent bedsores, My mother intends to try and bathe her as best she can when she is home. I'm not sure if taking Bella home is going to work, it's hard to remain optimistic when I can hear the doctors thoughts. They admire Carlilse for the work he has done during her coma, she underwent 6 operations on her hips and torso. He reconstructed most of the bones that were shattered beyond repair. She has one hip replacement and he fixed her spine that was dislocated out of place. He is sure she will walk again, although like all coma patients she will have to rebuild her muscle, even small movements will be difficult and walking will take at least 6 months to become like she was again.

I sit beside her never leaving her side, listening to the stories that my family tell her everyday. Watching her face, holding her hands. Waiting, forever waiting for something. A twitch, a sound. We all wait and hope. Carlisle placed a bible by her bedside, He reads to her everyday. He Has never stopped praying for her, He prays not for a full miracle recovery. but that when she wakes that she can handle her situation, That he will have the strength he needs to help her through every hurdle she may face.

I realized as I sat and listened to his whispered prayers. That having Faith isn't expecting miracles, But to except what you have with a happy heart, that god will never give us more than we can bare. I listened to My father, as He prays that the journey to her new home will be safe. I wanted to forgive him, He has endured the pain of possible losing Bella, as well as my hatred toward him. We have always treasured our relationship and now I feel like a complete asshole for what I have put him through the last four months.

He stands from the chair beside me and stands awkwardly for a moment, I can hear the battle in his mind whether or not to say something to me, He has never asked me to forgive him, He struggles everyday, every time he sees Bella, Everyday when He walk in to no change He cries inside.

He stands there for another moment. His hands clenching and unclenching, I can hear The rest of the family pulling up in their cars, here to come see Bella to our home. Before He can start to leave I sit up from me chair and wrap my arms around him. He freezes for a moment before wrapping me in a tight embrace, we stand there, not speaking, his thoughts not sure to rejoice yet or not. I smile slightly as his internal battle.

"I forgive you Dad" I whispered. As soon as the words left my mouth I felt lighter. I tightened my embrace and finally felt at ease. bottling up hatred is exhausting, and I relished the feeling as boulders rolled off my shoulders. My father sighed into my shoulder and tried to hold back the vampire tears that threatened to overtake him, I felt like laughing as the same, lately familiar feeling stung at my eyes. We were both a little wierded out by crying, but under the circumstances I really didn't care anymore. I cried into Bella's hair all the time when I was alone. I patted his back firmly as he struggled to to contain his sobs, I didn't do much better.

We were still holding each other when Esme and the others walked in. Esme was over the moon as we let go, Carlisle holding me at arms length, his hands on my shoulders his eyes still glistening but his face looking younger as the stress rolled off him. His mind thanking me over and over.

Esme wrapped me in a tight hug next, Her mind slightly peeved that I took so long. She has had to put up with watching him mope all day she hates there is nothing she could do to comfort him and that her sex life is non existent.

"Mom!" I duck out of her arms as she laughs at me. my mother though always a lady, has been hanging around her daughters to much.

* * *

I watch the ambulance start down the long drive toward the highway from Bella's window. She is laying in her own bed looking much more comfortable. Esme is running warm water into jugs and basins Alice and Rose are readying soaps and shampoos. I am ushered out of the room as they undress her in the bathroom, laughing. I smile as I stand outside her door for a moment, Already their has been more laughter in less than an hour since she has come home, then there has been in 4 months.

I wait in my room just across from Bella's, I skim my fingers along the bookshelf, dust flies off in every direction as I open my beloved CD player, inserting Debussy, I lat across my couch and close my eyes, letting myself fall into the memories of Bella.

_"Eddie can we climb?" I laugh as she places her tiny hands on the trunk of a huge Elm tree, Her hair curled by Alice, hanging in tight ringlets over her shoulders the way she asked for almost every morning. _

_"you will ruin your pretty dress bean, if we climb" I try to hide my smile at her pout, her bottom lip jutting out as far as she can get it, her big brown eyes getting bigger and bigger as they always did she learnt what it would get her, Especially from me. I groan as I pick her up a victorious giggle sounding like tiny bells as I hoist her up, her hands gripping my shirt behind my neck as I wrap her feet around my waist. She automatically tucks her face into my neck as I leap into the air, clutching the tree branch. She squeals loudly right into my ear making me cringe, "close your eyes bean" I whisper, stopping for a moment as she grips tighter, I can feel her eye lashes scrape my neck as she squints her eyes closed. _

_I nudge her when I reach the top, my back leaning into the trunk, I hold her tight as he turns away from my chest and the loud gasp she does every time we climb, I watch her as she takes in the view of the house and river below us. "Look Eddie" she points down to the house her voice excited, "we are higher then everyone!" her excited squeal right in my ear makes me cringe again, she really has to stop that I think to myself, as she twists and turns in my arms trying to look everywhere at once. I stay as long as she wants, I often thank God for bringing her to me, I know I will never be a father and this is a close as I will ever get. I try not to let it get to my head when she always picks me to hold her hand at the zoo, or sing her bedtime song, Make her breakfast or take her to the park. It's hilarious when she calls me into the kitchen, her puppy dog eyes as big as they can get when Esme or Rose are feeding her vegetables. I smile at the thought as she squirms in my grip._

_"lets get down now, I needa pee" she looks up at me, her four-year old face serious. "Okay bean" I try to hide my smile as her eyebrows furrow at her concentration, I try not to jostle at all, as I realise the danger I am in of being pee'd on. _

_I run her to the house and set her down, she bolts down the hall, already starting to bunch her dress in her arms halfway to the bathroom. _

__I listen to Esme hum in the next room.

"I won't ever give up on you bean". I whisper, losing myself in the happy memories I cherish.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE**

**Sorry I took so long to update, but I can not keep to a schedule as I have a teething baby and one on the way so I'm pretty wiped most of the time. I hope you like this chapter! please leave a review, I would love to know where you think the story is going to go? hopefully next chapter will be up within a week:) thanks for reading **

**shenaede.**


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7 **

**BELLA**

**I OWN NONE OF THE CHARACTERS USED IN THIS STORY.**

* * *

My throat burned with my constant screaming, but no one heard.

My legs were numb with his weight, My arms and chest throbbing with overuse as I thrashed against him.

I could hear their voices.

My father, mother, Emmet laughing. Jaspers southern drawl slow and quiet. Day after day. They Never seem to see the man above me. They never hear my screams of agony, They are oblivious to my thrashing and writhing, trying to escape from the monster.

My body felt weak and numb and as I heard His voice, whispering in my ear. His Gentle words of encouragement and love whispered over and over took the pain away. I began to breathe again. I let the monster take over and stopped my screaming. I let my body find the numb comfort it desired. I closed my eyes and tuned everything out except for His voice. I knew then nobody was there. I was dreaming. He couldn't be here. He wouldn't want to be here beside me.

I was happy in one thing though. My imagination. The dream my mind conjured up took away the pain and brought me, Him.

I lost track of time, I lay their mesmerized by his words. the desire to open my eyes, to touch him, drove me mad. But I knew that if you wake from a dream they disappear. So I clung to the only comfort a had. While the monster ravaged my body over and over.

Alone in the darkness after what seemed an eternity the monster finally gone. I was left with the scars. The burning pain in my insides with every breath, the ache in every joint in my body. Then the terrifying reality set in. I was stuck in a nightmare. The voices of the family I loved, Started to make their way through my perfect haze. His voice started to dull and blend in with the others, their voices rising and falling as my alertness seemed to sway too and fro. I panicked, losing the only thing I clung to get through the never ending pain of the nightmare the monster left behind. But His Velvet voice soon was lost to the others echoing through my spinning head.

I started to hear more and more. Alice I was sure. Came time and time again and with her, the smell of flowers. Eventually my mind became more in tune of the time. Alice came, at the same time every day bearing the strong, sweet smell of fresh flowers. I could hear the comforting sounds of a piano playing somewhere faraway. Eventually I could make out the songs, songs I remember hearing as little girl.

Behind my eyelids bright lights shining. Curtains being opened and closed told me that a new day had started and later ended. The smell of food often wafted through my room, making my dry mouth water.

I don't know for how long I stayed like this, Awake but not able to move or speak. It was torture, But My body slowly came too, the burning sensation in my lower body gone now, but replaced by a throbbing ache. I would wake from a deeper slumber, trying to scream, trying to get away from the cold man always hovering over me. His cold breath brushing along my neck but no matter how hard I tried I could never tell a soul of my suffering.

Again just like every other day. The soft footsteps, barely disernable. But my ears so attuned to the same sounds everyday could just make them out amongst the rest of the morning stirring. Soft humming, the curtain scraping open, the dull light under my eyes indicating it was the start of a new day. Another day where I would be caged in my own body. I waited, I knew the piano would start playing soon. I loved listening the comforting music. Over and over. Everyday it would end too soon. I wanted to forever lay and lose myself to the happy memories that the soft touch of those keys brought.

However, This morning I felt different. More in control. Alice once again graced me with her presence. Her lilting voice humming a tune I have never heard before. I listened intently to the curtain scraping open to let the dull light stream into the room. But this time, instead of laying there , the light only just seeping in through my lids. I opened my eyes.

I shut them quickly, pain shooting through my head at the sudden bounce of light. Slowly I opened them again, Letting the light gently seep in. Movement slowly became apparent from across the room. I watched, the ache in my head dulling as my eyes slowly adjusted.

I watched, not making a sound as my sister bounced blithely on her feet in front of a vase of purple flowers. For a long moment I stared. Not willing to peel my eyes away from the one thing I was pretty sure was reality, terrified that I would again sink into the cage I have been locked in for what seems to be eternity.

I watched Alice bouncing around, she didn't seem to notice me staring intently at her. Before I could comprehend she turned, Her eyes bulged in her tiny face before Her piercing scream rang in my ears. one second It was only Alice in the room her eyes nearly popping out of her head, less then a second later the room was filled with bodies. My eyes struggled to take in what was happening before me, the speed at which my family moved almost hurt.

I recognised Jasper his body blocked my view of Alice as he placed himself in front of Alice protectively. But her small hand shot out and pointed towards me. One after the other their alarmed faces turned, and one after the other their mouths dropped open before I was engulfed in bodies. Some crouching, lowering them selves to my hight as I lay on my bed, My eyes still glued on the tiny form that was my sister as she stared back at me, A smile almost bigger then her face.

"Bella?" My name stole me from me memorizing stare to a face close by, almost touching my own. My eyes flashed to him and his face lit up in a huge smile. Something my dreams could never conjure up for me, they seemed determined to bring my pain expect for the voice which I was sure I would never hear again.

Opening and closing my mouth my jaw clicked loudly, my dry lips burned as I tried to manipulate my mouth to speak his name. "Shh, don't speak just yet" He smoothed his cold hands over my face. I closed my eyes as a felt the first soft touches in a long time. The heavy hands of the monster at least for now were gone, and I took a deep breath reveling in the soothing touch of my father.

"Bella, do you know who I am?" I opened my eyes and nodded, my neck stiff, the movement barely discernible. but He saw it and if possible his smile got wider.

His head turned and he nodded to someone, a flash of movement in the corner of my eyes brought me out of my stare into my fathers face. It was difficult to even move my eyes. But slowly one by one I took in the faces of my family. Bright with smiles. My eyes slowly made their way from smile to smile then I nearly questioned my sanity as I stared at the crooked smile that always managed to take my breath away, I blinked. this smile, It didn't belong. Even in my conjured dreams I never saw this smile. I opened my eyes and again there it was. His smile.

my eyes never left his as Esme returned with a cup and straw, Gently Carlisle lifted me onto the pillows, I groaned as my bones fought against even this small movement. THe smile My eyes never left faltered as my face contorted into a painful grimace. everything ached but the smell coming from the cup held in front of me made my mouth water, my dry lips and tongue coming alive.

It took an age for me to even work up enough breath to suck the delightfully smelling liquid from the straw, after many attempts, which were somewhat embarrassing. I managed it and the broth flowed down my aching throat. I moaned at the feel of the silky liquid gently carressing my parched throat.

Half way through the first cup and a couldn't swallow another sip. I felt exhausted. Almost angry with my body for betraying me, That broth was so good but my swollen stomach and my slumping form were not allowing me anymore. I slumped over the pillows already feeling sleep starting to take over. I was barely awake as cold hands tucked me back under the warm covers and I lost myself in a deep dreamless slumber.

...

I opened my eyes to darkness, only a night light glowing dimly from beside the bed provided just enough light to barely eluminate the room, but my eyes ached if I tried to concentrate to long on anything, opening my mouth and tried call out but all that came out was a small moan, but still thanks to my families vampiric hearing I was surrounded by bodies in an instant.

Again Carlisle knelt beside me, his hands smoothing my hair from my face. He flicked a lamp on making me squint in protest, before I could open my mouth a loud rumble echoed from the empty knot that was now my stomach, He laughed and Esme flashed from the room. I smiled slightly embarrassed but really not caring as I was getting more soup, which I agreed with very much.

This time I almost finished the entire cup and a managed to drink in with ease, much to my satisfaction. The cup was taken away and I was plumped up comfortably on the cushions. My entire body felt like a stiff plank, creaking and groaning with every movement, I tried my best to hide the grimace with every bump or movement. I take my first good look at him, by eyes no longer hazy like they were when I first woke.

His eyes look weary and even though I know it is impossible He looks as though he has aged a decade. His face marred my a permanent frown, whether he knows it or not. He watched me stare at him, His eyes never losing their concern. reaching out I try to crease out the deep line between his brows, His hand follows mine as he leans into my hand.

with a half hearted laugh he sighs. "Do I look older Bells?" I tried to joke with him but I know better, this must have been terrible for him, Carlisle is the most gentle man I have ever known, He would have taken this personally, taken the blame for something he could never have helped.

"Not your fault" I try to make it powerful but my voice only comes out in a hoarse whisper. He only shook his head slowly bringing my hand into his own, "No Bella, I was ignorant and selfish and you paid the price for that, I thank you for your good heart towards me but it's ok if you don't forgive me" His voice shook as his quiet words pierced my heart. I took both of his hands and waited till he looked back up to me, I knew he was trying to hide the glistening in his eyes and the hitch in his breath. I dropped his hand and tilted his face up to my own, I knew my I wouldn't be able to say much right now so I carefully selected the words I wanted him to know most.

"I forgive you Dad" again my vioce let me down but I knew he heard it. He smiled, a true smile and bent to kiss my cheek. cupping my face he whispered "thank you" over and over, our foreheads pressed together.

I was faintly aware of another presence in the room, only the slam of a door from across the hall- Edward's room.

* * *

I sighed as I finished my fourth cup of soup, as much as I liked it I was hanging for a good hearty lasagna or pasta. Esme smiled as she took my cup and headed back downstairs, leaving me with the ever bouncing, Alice. I grimaced as she held up the makeup bag. A huge smile on her tiny face, I threw myself back on the pillows without much thought and hissed when my hips protested with a painful groan. My hands ball into fists until the pain radiates through my torso then slowly fades. I will walk again, But it will take months of rehab and patience. Only Carlisle and Edward have the patience to sit through my tantrums almost daily. I know I am behaving like a complete child but having to learn how to do things that I did every day without thought, I realize that I took being able to walk, one foot in front of the other without having to concentrate as though I was on a balance beam, having to put up with the endless pain with every move I make takes its toll on my already not existant patience.

Edward and mines relationship is strange at the moment, a few days after I woke he came and sat beside me but never said a word, When I wake he is always there, but never on the bed, always sitting by me on the floor his head bent beside mine. Whenever I need him he always seems to know, He seems to want to be here with me as well, He is always hanging around, He stays during all my therapy sessions, holding my hands or rubbing my back when I get frustrated and start one of my temper tantrums.

But hardly a word had been spoken in the two weeks since I woke. I am grateful that he is here, but its getting tense. The feeling between us is palpable, I find him hovering more and more, He is with me almost every second of the day, either sitting beside me on the bed reading while I nap during the day or in the corner, sitting in the leather rocking chair as I am daily pampered by Alice and Rose.

Today though, he was forced by Carlisle of all people to go hunting with Emmet and Jasper for the week up in northern Canada. He never said goodbye. He was just gone when I woke. I don't know what to feel at that, I am so confused at everything. I have no idea why he isn't talking to me, to anyone really, yet he never leaves my side?

I give up on ever understanding that Man.

I lay quietly as the daily routine continues around me. I am lost trying to figure everything out. Rose seems to understand that it is easier for me to be quiet sometimes. Alice, not so much.

"Alice can I ask you a question?" Her hands rubbing oil on the scars on my stomach and torso stop and she frowns at me when she realises I haven't been listening to a word she's been saying, I cringe away from looking at my scars. I have yet to fully see the extent. Esme bathes me most days unless I am too sore to move after therapy but I can't bring myself to look at my body, I can already feel the flub which used to be muscleslowly coving my thight and stomach as I gain more and more weight, I was never beautiful like Rose but I was toned, often running and climbing on family hiking trips but now I was literally half of what I used to be. So I rather hide from it then face the fear, it's bad enough being surrounded by perfect women when you are fit and healthy let alone weak and sickly, covered in scars.

Ignoring Alice's death glare I continue. "I have wanted to ask for a while, but Edward is always close by" Both Alice and Rose perk up at the mention of Edward, Their hands slowing their work over me.

"what was he like when I was asleep?" why I have no idea but I like to refer to my coma as sleeping. It seems.. nicer. I have asked no one about Edward, scared that he will overhear, but moreso I am not sure if I want to know. He is so strange at the moment, not the Edward I have known my entire life. He seems scared almost, unsure to even be around me. I can always see the silent question in his eyes when he is near. It hurts to think that maybe he is honestly scared that I may not want him anymore. sometimes I really wish he could read my mind, all I want to do is love him and him to love me in return, often the envy takes over as I watch my sibling with their mates, the love and affection is hard to watch when their is someont often right beside me that I long to hold and to be held by.

Alice thinks for a moment before firing away at a speed I can barely keep up with, "He never left you side Bella, In the hospital he never left you alone for a moment, not even to hunt. Not until we brought you home did he hunt for the first time since he returned from-" her eyes bulge for a moment when she apparently said to much. But I don't want to pry anything from Alice, I know Edward, and if I ask him he will tell me he always has been truthful and so have i to him. I want to ask him many questions about the past 2 years but I know I have to ask when the time is right. I usually struggle with patence but I know from experience that He needs time and when he is ready he will spill everything in an emotional gush. He is strong and intelligent a natural leader when he needs to but I know inside he is soft and sensitive.

"Alice it's ok, I know he will tell me when he is ready, but I don't understand what is going on between us? " Both of them are quiet, contemplating either what I said or what to tell me. "you feel a connection don't you?" Rose surprised me by asking that one but I was glad she did, I have wanted to talk about what I feel for him, it so confusing. I feel as though He and I have been connected throughout my entire childhood, I have no words for what I feel or if it is even true if it its just what I like to believe that I am feeling.

"I feel as though I do, the months he was gone was the first time He left by choice, We have only ever separated for a few days before but that was different, I feel as though when he is angry or sad I can feel his discomfort. when he is happy I feel it too. Not the complete emotion but I feel lighter if he is happy, if he is down I feel like it's solely my responsibility to make him happy and that reflects on my mood." Taking a deep breath I instantly feel good for letting it out there, Both girls don't stop their work, but their smiles get bigger the more I speak, so I take that as a good sign.

"Edward has known that you are mates, Bella but he is determined not to let that make you decide. He wants you to have a human life, He wants you to find someone and fall In love just like a normal girl would, to have children of your own." Rose was quiet as Alice spoke, Her eyes down. "But what if I choose Him?" Alice's stopped, Her eyes glazing over as she stared into the future. She could right at that moment that I had just made my decision. for a long moment I waited, watching her closely.

Her eyes darted back to me, worry etched into her perfect features for just half a second before she took control of her features once more and continued braiding my hair. No more was said, Alice literally clenched her jaw together, her teeth grinding, not letting anything out about what she saw, But she wasn't quick enough, I saw the worry. As they finish their task I lay back and contemplate what was said.

One thing I will always be sure of, if it's the only thing I ever am sure about.

I want him.

...

I try to hide the tears pooling in my eyes, as for the thousandth time, I fail the task of standing without leaning over, using my non existant core muscles to hold my body straight, like every normal human can, Except me. I drown out that drone of the doctors voice and try again to concentrate again. Over and over. after another 20 minutes of failing I can hear him talking notes his head shaking slightly. I look to Carlisle, The tears spilling over. My hand hastily coming up to wipe them away sending me flailing into Carlisle arms.

"It's okay Bella, you are already doing incredibly well your not supposed to be standing for weeks yet. You just need to work on your core strength, It's not your legs or you it more the after effects of the Coma. we can work on that at home" He voice calms me and I nod into his shoulder as he picks me up without a word to the doctor he takes me out to the car.

"I am just going to talk to the doctors I'll be a minute" Carlisle tells me sitting me in his Mercedes, smiling I nod, slipping my belt buckle on. wiping the tears from my cheeks I sit back utterly exhausted, I look as though I have just run a marathon, Pulling down the sun visor I check myself out in the mirror, Red eyes, flushed face, My hair falling out of the braid Alice did for me this morning. I huff, slumping back into the seat, wincing as my hips protest with internal groans.

Carlisle true to his word slips in the car a minute later, A smile on his face. "we won't be coming back here again" He states happily as we pull onto the road. "what?, why?" I gape at him, as much as that idea agrees with me I do want to walk again sometime soon.

"We will continue the therapy, but we can do it at home, I reckon even Emmet could help you better than that so-called therapist could" I smile at him, his face crumpled looking towards the road for a moment before turning to me, a small smile on his face, "thanks, Dad" His smile got wider before he turned back to the road, I watched as the smile never left his face. I realized I never called him Dad, but that is always what he has been to me, but from a young age I have followed the others and called him Carlisle. I watch him, and decide then and there, I will always call him Dad, It's only a small thing. but to him it's huge, and its my way of showing him that I will always think of him as my Dad no matter what happens.

Once home I am deposited on the couch as Car- Dad tells the family the news and then ducks into his office to start planning our sessions. Esme starts dinner for me as Alice runs my bath. I'm not a fan of being bathed But The other option isn't to enticing either, especially when living in a house full of oversensative vampires.

The bath feels heavenly, Alice leaves me for a while, while she sorts me wardrobe. Soaking in the Lavender scented bubbles I lay back. My body deliciously relaxed after my 'workout'. laying comfortable and warm my thought automatically turn to Edward. I wonder where he is now, what he is hunting. I wish we were like Alice and jasper or rose and Emmet. Their phones have been chiming all day, when they have service the guys text or call. My phone has remained ever silent all day, Not one message. I try not to be disappointed, I should never expect anything. But I can't help but hope.

I sit, in my flannel pyjamas,wrapped in my duvet, watching My favorite movie, Bridget jones. Alice and Rose turn their nose up the entire time at Bridget's complete lack of fashion. But I will never let them bully me out of this as my favorite, I relate to her, she is clumsy, She is surrounded by beautiful woman, The man she wants is stubborn and eccentric to a degree, She has no idea of how to act in the world she lives in and yes she can't dress herself. When I explained this to my sisters I was a little shocked that they both agreed whole heartedly with me, huge grins on their faces as i relay our 'simeralilties', I was a little perturbed at that, I do know it's true but still, It hurts just a bit when you know you're the downer of the group.

As I drifted off on the couch I tried to forget the ache in my chest. Only three more days till I see him again.

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE : I hope you liked this chapter. I still feel as though my writing is lacking some Bounce if you could call it that, writing charters talking to one another is a challenge for me, I can't seem to get it right. If anyone has any suggestions please review!

SHENAEDE


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER** 8 **

**EDWARD**

* * *

I watched the sun rise over the snow-capped mountains, for only a brief period the sun's rays dances on my exposed skin, before slowly disappearing behind the clouds as it ascends into the sky. In the distance my brothers laughing slowly breaks through my thoughts as they wrestle in the snow. Our thirsts sated we are almost ready to go home after a week of hunting and 'male bonding' as Emmet liked to put it. I watch as the prisms of light reflect on the snow as they dance of my skin. Bella always loved to look at them, she would turn my hands over and over, a beautiful smile on her tiny face as she marveled at the lights as they bounced of the rocks. Everyday I would take her to a meadow or creek in the nearby mountains. I remember nothing would deter her, if it was raining she would dress her self in her gumboots and rain coat. Usually all you could see of her was a pink little nose sticking out of her beanie and scarf.

every time she would come back, clinging to my back soaked to the bone and covered in mud. She never complained, I however often received death glares and pulled ears from Esme. I can't help the smile from tugging at the corner of my mouth as I think back to those days.

I miss them. Those days I felt loved, I knew I was loved. It was an innocent love but I relished it none the less. For 80 years I have watched the my family and their lovers live there lives around me I have always been happy enough. I tell them I am happy in myself, That I do not need the love of another. Then Bella came into my life. As a baby I watched over her with a protectiveness that would rival any fathers. There were times when I felt I was her father more so than Carlisle. I was always there for her no matter what. I never went away with my siblings to college, I practically never left her side until two years ago.

She is still paying for my actions. I question everyday. Were they noble? I left to keep her from me. I knew I was falling more and more in love with her. I did it to protect her from me. From becoming what I am. I believed It was the right thing. I still do. Although it brought her to such an end, it also freed me from my life service thus rendering me free and able to go back to her, To love her. Which I most certainly do, with all my being.

But is that good for her?

I know my answer.. NO, it is not nor ever will be. Love between Vampire and Human is a notion to wish I dream but I will never take the risks and steps in declaring my love to Isabella. Many times I have tried in vain, to seek any 'loophole' in what I know to be right. There is none.

I can gain much for loving her openly. The ability to hold her and touch her, to marry her. To tell the world that she is mine and I am hers, but there is where I stumble. I know that eventually she will grow old and die. The natural occurence of every human. But can I let her go? Can I watch my lover die, never able to follow. Can I take away her ability to conceive children? can I take her away from the normal life that she is so privileged? Me loving her, would only take away, while For me it would complete my existence, I would be happy, my life forever fulfilled. Yet, what do I give to her.

Nothing.

I am soulless. A natural killer.

I cannot grow old by her side or see children play at our feet. I can never offer her even the simple ability to live in the same home, every few years we would have to move. Over and over, ever since the first time I realized I loved her I have been over and over every reason for my loving her. And again and agin I am refuted.

but I will, as happily as I can, stay. Watch over her, forever being bound to her, as she grows older, as she matures and learns I will be there to guide her if need be. Until she finds love, when she marries I will tell her she is beautiful and be happy, when she holds her children I will protect them too. for I know I am giving her something greater than I could ever hope to give her.

I will stay where I belong.

In the shadows.

* * *

Jasper and I watch amusedly as Emmet gathers branches and deposits them in a large pile. He wants to make a fire and have a proper campout for our "male bonding time', its completely ridiculous but Emmet will not be deterred, his smile almost overtaking his face as he hauls a huge log and slams it down beside his now roaring fire. before plunking his ass down and poking like a madman with a stick at the embers falling away from the logs.

"Now is when I miss beer" Emmet spoke, seemingly lost in thought. it wasnt often He went back to his human memories. He had a lot to share at first, His mind often wandering to his more crass achievements. There was only ten years or so between Emmets and my 'rebirth' but his thought were what i considered quite foul towards women, I had a lot to learn. These days most men are absolutely disgusting towards the other sex. I will never fathom how men can think it acceptable to degrade a woman in ways as I see in their minds. I am surrounded in filth, and it only seems to get worse. women aren't what they used to be. not they are crass, their mouths foul and their minds not much better than the lusting men that they drive to desperate measures by showing as much flesh as they can to 'attract' them.

I have no idea how any man could lust after such women.

But now as Emmets thoughts seeped into my own he wasn't thinking of the girls he left or the drinking and gambling. But his thoughts were occupied by the sister he never got to see grow up, his parents who he has missed these past 70 years.

We all suffer the premature loss of our loved ones, most of us snatched away and forced to live a half-life. Those lucky to find their mates are blessed to find happiness yet we all live with a measure of emptiness, Having no family children or close friends.

Sad.

Our male bonding time had been great so far, it was good to be able to speak and listen to what my brothers had to say about everyday life. Untill they got to the topic of sex. it was bad enough listening to what was coming out of their mouths let alone the more finer details in their minds. I managed to stay out of the firing line for a few minutes before two faces with wide grins and twitching eyebrows turned to me.

"SO... Eddie do you have anything to share?" Emmet and jasper both giggled like teenage girls, their thoughts immediately turning to the morning that unfortunately the entire household 'overheard' . I groaned and let my head drop into my hands. I was not getting out of this.

"I am not saying a thing!" I yelled into my palms, Jasper snickered his though going over what he thought could have happened and I growled the images playing through his mind, none of them relatively close to what we shared.

his thoughts halt as my growls echoes across our small camp, before it cuts of abruptly as a shill ringing pierces the still night. Both jasper feel their pockets pulling out their phones but both are blank. it takes me a second to realise that it's me, I wasn't expecting a call, I never do. My heart sinks into my stomach when I think of the possible reasons they would need to call me. The breath whooshed from me as I slide my shaking fingers over the flashing screen.

"Carlisle?" my voice trembles as I pinch the bridge of my nose absently.

"Edward how far away are you?" his voice is slightly panicked and my body shakes in fear. "About 1 day by car but I can run it in 8 hours or so" I take a deep breath as silence ensues on the other side of the line, "whats wrong Carlisle?" my voice rises in pitch as I pace frantically.

"Bella, she is sick, she hasn't kept anything down since the day after you left, I am taking her to hospital, she is showing signs of blood poisoning but I have no idea how, I can only guess that one of her internal injuries has somehow opened and is infected. But if I can't find anything.." His voice trailed off I don't know if he stopped talking or I stopped listening, my mind ticking over his words.

"I'm leaving now, I'll be there as soon as is possible." I slammed the phone shut, Emmet and Jasper were putting out the fire and grabbing our bags. Without a word I left them, running at full speed through the snow-covered terrain back to forks.

As I ran I tried to keep my mind from the thought wich lately often has haunted me, Only the last few weeks have I had some reprieve from the thoughts of my mate possibly leaving me alone in this world. And although I have vowed to myself to let her live her own life, My own instincts will not allow me to ever leave her side. I have learnt the hard way that Vampires are almost animalistic when it comes to finding our mates, when they recognise the other as their mate, the need to protect them becomes almost as unbearable as the need for human blood. The need to claim them, to mark them as your own is one of the hardest things I have ever had to contain. All those days I have sat by her side too afraid to even speak to her, afraid that my carefully erected walls my crumble.

I don't know how I will go on. To be near her but not love her is torture. I watch My mother and father, the way they look at each other, the way my siblings hold each other in times of stress. The way they make love to each other every night. After 80 years their love is stronger everyday. I long to be able to hold MY mate. To love her every night and laugh with her for eternity. Alas I cannot, I am doomed this unfortunate existence, being so near, yet so far from the being that provides me with the life I need to go on.

So instead I let myself breathe easier as I each step I know takes me closer to her, the searing pain in my chest that has accompanied me since the moment I took a step away from her, easing slightly.

...

6 hours later I burst through Forks hospital, probably too fast for a human but I didn't care. I didn't stop at the desk to ask where she was. I could already hear her heartbeat from a mile away, I ran to the room from where her weakened heart beckoned me.

I wasn't prepared for the sight before me.

She looked haggard. Her eyes were hollow and her skin yellow in the bright light. Her mouth slack, her breathing coming in panting, a tiny wheezing noise escaping her throat with every intake of breath. my feet dragged on the floor as step by step I made my slow way beside her. Her room was empty her bed in the middle of the large room. As soon as I made contact, taking her hand in my own I was able to breath deeply, only to wince as I felt her pain. I felt as though my chest was constricted I felt weak and stone body ached. Closing my eyes I sorted through my feelings, confused at how I could feel these things.

Needing to be near her I moved to her other side, where there were no IV drips in her hand and as gently as I could moved her over making enough room so I could lay beside her. gently I layed my weight on the narrow bed. Our bodies touching, I twirled her hair in my fingers and sighed, not contentedly but happy enough to by by her side, even if that time may be brief. I hummed her lullaby softly in her ear, matching my breaths with hers. They were no longer quick pants but slow deep breaths her body relaxing into mine before she seemed to settle into a deeper sleep.

Carlsile came in not long after, His bows furrowed with worry, though he relaxed slightly when he saw me. I raised my finger to my lips to tell him to be silent, most likely unnecasary but I didnt want to risk waking her and feeling any pain she might be suffering. He nodded and came to her bedside speaking through his thoughts.

"_I have moniterd her for the past day, first at home then here but I can find nothing physically wrong with her other than what you see, but I cannot find what is causing these symptoms. I suspected blood poisoning but after close examination from me and several doctors we found nothing. I have experienced internal bleeding many times I can always smell it if it's there but I can detect nothing''_

He paused and took her hand, counting the beats. Then placing his palm on her forehead. His brows furrowed and he looked to me.

_How long have you been here Edward? _he asked as he continued to examine the drips. " an hour maybe longer, why?" I was confused, his thoughts too jumbled to make out.

_her pulse is stronger. Her breathing is Better, no more wheezing. And her temperature is almost normal. She looks better..." _

I looked at her face, studying it carefully, He was right. Her pallor was much healthier and the small wheezing sound was gone her breathing deep and slow. I looked up to Carlisle, having no idea what happened but not really caring how, I couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of my mouth as I kissed her temple.

"you can do it bean, you can do it" I whispered before resuming twirling my fingers through her hair and humming her lullaby.

The next day she was looking almost normal, still sleeping but her skin was back to its healthy glow and the drip was taken out. Carlisle and the other doctors were just waiting for her to wake up. which happened sooner rather than later when Emmet bounded into the room before Carlisle and I could stop him, slamming the door into the wall, making her jump and whimper her eyes huge as she sat up, her huge doe eyes terrified as she took in her surroundings, half-dazed.

I quickly dashed to her side and helped her to lay back down, smoothing her hair from her face as she sighed and closed her eyes, her hands coming to grab mine and hold them, I didn't resist and let her hold my hands in her warm ones as she held one to her nose and inhaled. I watched entrapped as she inhaled over and over the skin of my wrist, her eyes closed. for a long moment we stood there, even Emmet was quiet under Carlisle's death glare as we reunited, I leaned in and buried my nose in my hair and I too inhaled, before a thought stunned me into stillness. Bella was smelling me. It was common among all mated Vampires to smell each other after a time apart or to calm the other or during mating, but Bella was human. She was acting as though it was instinct, as though it was natural for her.

Carlisle too, noticed this his thoughts mirroring my own as he watched us before dragging Emmet out and closing the door, trying to give us as much privacy as possible before the rest of the doctors joined us.

"Good Morning sweetheart" I murmured into her hair as she continued to hold my wrist to her nose and mouth. She moaned and I shivered at the sound, feelings which felt wrong for the current situation flooding through my core. We stayed that way for a moment before the thoughts of Carlisle and two other doctors dragged from the bubble that both Bella and I seemed to have created for ourselves, leaving my hand in hers I straightened just as the door opened and in walked Carlisle who was speaking to his companions excitedly. They marveled at Bella's Recovery which none of them could explain, except Carlisle, the small smile never left his face as he watched us. Bella was almost normal, only feeling a bit weak after days of not eating, But she was ready to go home.

Carlisle was blocking his thoughts from me, on the drive home as I held Bella in my lap in the back of the Mercedes He was quiet, his thoughts making no sense at all. We were greeted rather robustly by Esme and Alice, I could smell the rich smell of Bella's favorite food, lasagna the strong garlic from the garlic bread ironically making me want to stop breathing altogether. I carried her to the couch where a tray was filled with food. She smiled and squealed like a small child when she saw it, and devoured it like a starving african.

She looked up to me from where she was sitting tucked under my arm as I watched her eat, something I will never cease to find fascinating. 'whahh" She half blubbered out her mouth full of Lasagna, before using her fingers to clean the sauce from around her mouth and chin. I was caught in her huge brown eyes as she stared up at me, the situation somewhat the same of one years ago,

_we were sitting on the couch watching her favorite movie, Cinderella. I sat through it every single day. I was the only one who would eventually, even Esme had to decline after half an hour. She sat tucked under my arm her dress covered in tulle fluffed up all around her legs and waist as she tucked into her biscuits and milk. I watched trying to hide my laugh as she dipped her cookie into the glass. I could see what was going to happen, she held it in the milk too long and she brought it up only to discover that the half she dipped was now in the bottom of the glass. I watched her, shaking with laughter as again and again she dipped in her biccie and brought out only half. Her bottom lip protruded from her mouth as once again her cookie was ruined. she placed the chocolate chip cookie on the plate along with all the others she had dipped with no luck and dipped her tiny 5 year old fingers into the glass, bringing up a heap of mush. finally she turned to me and glared when she took in my laughing. _

I stared now at her as she continued to shove food messily into her mouth. She spilled it onto her clothes, it covered her chin, but I didn't care. I realised I feel the same as I did all those years ago and yet different. I loved her then, as a little girl, I would spend my days with her and I was happy. Now I feel the same in the way that I love to spend my time with her, just like then she still has so much to learn, she continues to surprise me and supply me with unending joy. Yet she also holds my heart, she doesn't know it yet but she is why I am living now. She is why I keep myself strong. I never knew the meaning of real love before Bella. I may not have loved her as I do now 10 years ago, but little did I know that the connection we share will only ever increase.

I pray for strength to be able to let her go.

* * *

**this chapter is a bit shorter but there was nothing else to say. I know I have been updating all over the place but I have a 16 months old boy and I'm 8 months pregnant to finding time to write is getting scarce so please bare with me. **

**Please Review! **


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER 9 **

**EDWARD**

****Bella has been awake almost three months now. Her walking is better, now able to walk around the house for most of the day with only a slight limp. But if she gets cold or tired her hips become quite stiff and painful, although she hates to admit it, I love and hate that stubborn streak.

She makes her life harder by not admitting to her pain, yet she keeps quiet and literally bites her tongue, why I dont' know. I am more then proud of her, since having Carlisle as her therapist she has improved much quicker then ever expected. I try to tell her this, but it goes in one ear and out the other. As per usual.

I watched as her brows furrowed in her sleep, she refused the pain killers I offered. I'm tempted to do what I used to have to resort to when she was a child. Hide them mashed up in her food. I hate to have to go to such measures with a full grown woman but I hate watching her in pain, no matter how slight she says it may be. I watch as the sun slowly rises, it's rays hidden by thick clouds the usual for forks. But today is met with some more excitement then usual in the Cullen household.

It's Bella's birthday. She hates big elaborate parties, Something Alice has never listened too. But this time I intervened, earning death glares and the silent treatment from both my sisters, something that really doesn't bother me at all. Not talking is right up my alley, why they think It is a punishment I have no idea. Instead I have planned to take her to a meadow I have found in the nearby mountains, we haven't had a chance to speak privately, and I know that there are things we both need to know. She has yet to ask me about why I left or even where I went and that confuses me, she has never mentioned the fact that I even left other then when she sleeps. Often she begs me not to go, or to come back. Many times Jasper has had to leave with Alice while her nightmares are bad as he can not stand the pain animating from her, his calming waves bouncing not able to influence her.

I have been nervous about today, I don't know is she wants to ever speak about it. Maybe she has chosen not to know, I don't know if she feels the same for me as she did before I left. Did she kill those feelings after I left her, I don't blame her if she did. Why it hurts to know that most likely she doesn't still love me as more then a brother I do not know, it's better that she doesn't. Easier.

...

"Bella..." I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist until I felt my nail digging into my palms. I watched as she hobbled to stop beside me, failing to hide her grimace of pain. We still had miles to go and yet she refused to let me carry her, as a child I carried her everywhere damn it I carried her when she was 17. Yet she refused.

I propped the backpack up on my back, and stared down at her, her jaw was set in that stubborn tilt she wore all the time now, and now I was close to snapping. I showed no inclination of what I was about to do, I turned away from her and made to walk up the through the thick spruce, she started to follow, her bottom lip now suffering as she chewed on it relentlessly, her brows furrowed in deep concentration. In a blur of Vampire speed I whirled around and swept her off her feet, I as carefully as possible flung her over my shoulder, I had never carried her quite like this but It was time she learned that I was not going to bow to her stubborn whim. It took her a few seconds to register what just transpired, as soon as she realized I'm glad she couldn't see my laughing as she trashed and screamed like a banshee.

We arrived in only minutes, well I arrived carrying a wild brunette who was to no avail clawing my back, which felt quite nice actually, the pervert in me thought smugly. I brought her from over my shoulder to carry her bridal style, I bit my cheeks to stop from smiling at her furious glare, her arms folded tightly, why did I only notice that it squished her boobs together?

I really need to stop listening to Emmet. Jasper isn't much better. Come to think of it Carlisle has been a bit crude lately too. Yep I blame them.

she wrestled in my arms and demanded I drop her, So very gently I placed her on her feet. I held my arms out for her as she swayed on her feet slightly before her head tilted up, her jaw clamped tightly and she strode off toward the edge of the meadow, to who knows where. Did she think I would follow? Well yes I would, if she went to far for my liking, but I'm not stupid. She wants me to follow where she can give me a piece of her thought. Well No, I love Bella more than I love my family or my life. I may love her, adore her and I will do anything for her, but I will not be made to see her go through pain and the torture of walking miles through thick forest at human pace just to satisfy a stubborn Woman.

I found a soft patch of grass and laid out the picknick blanket that was packed in the backpack, I gathered the sandwiched and juices I packed for her and waited. I could hear her stumbling through the undergrowth just along the outskirts of the meadow, It took all the strength I have to sit and not move as she stumbled over and over again. I layed out on the rug shrugging off my jacket, letting the sunlight pay across my skin, Alice reassured me it would be sunny followed by a thunder storm which the family planned their own 'entertainment'.

I followed Bella with my ears, I could hear her slowly making her way toward me, I couldn't help the smirk as she finally gave in. But suddenly I felt nervous, where do we start now?

* * *

**BELLA**

****I felt silly walking towards where I knew he waited for me. I was being utterly stupid refusing to let him carry me. I don't know why I refused really, I was definitely regretting it once we started walking. every step was painful and I know I'll pay for it when It cools down later tonight. I blame the weird drugs I have been on the last months for my jumpy, angry mood swings and just plain stupidity most of the time, but I feel trapped, I have been stubborn refusing painkillers and help from Edward for so long that it feels strange to just give up and let him swaddle me like he used to before he left. I can see that he is angry with me at the moment. He hides with smiles, He goes quiet and lets me do my 'thing' but I know it's because he is about to snap. So he gives himself time away from my childish behaviour.

I dropped my eyes as I neared the place where he sat on the picnic blanket set with sandwiches, as I came closer my eyes trained on the ground first saw his shoes, I stood for a while, it was the most awkward moment in forever. I waited for something other than that proud smirk he wasn't hiding very well to come from his mouth but It looks like I will have to break the silence, By apologising. How does he get his way without even talking? I need to learn this.

I kept my eyes glued to his shoes, as I began my apology barely audible to even myself yet I knew his vampiric hearing would easily hear my excuse. But before I could finish my voice vanished completely as my eyes took in his perfection. His arms were over his head, hands playing with tuffs of grass absently, his shirt pulled up over his waist revealing his toned stomach and torso which was sparkling beautifully in the sunlight. I could hardly look at his neck and face as a beam of sparkling light that almost hurt my eyes reflected from them.

His eyes opened as a stuttered, for an embarrassing moment, his brows furrowed and he quickly sat up, scanning the meadow before sitting up into his knees, his body awfully close to mine. He looked up into my face as I looked down, focused mainly on maintaining even breathing and heart rate, which was no small feat. "what's wrong" His voice was gentle, he seriously didn't know what he looked like. Stupid Vampire.

taking a deep breath I stepped beside him and sat down reaching toward the closest sandwich, not feeling hungry at all but welcoming anything to distract him and me, however so slightly. A cold sparkly hand stopped mine in mid air as I leaned for my sandwich. "Bella- We need to talk, I thought today would be a good time to do it. I know you have questions" I looked down at the checkered blanket and let out a deep breath, glad that he seemed to have forgotton my previous behaviour. But I was immediately intrigued at what he wanted to talk about. My immediate thought was to where he disappeared to, cause he was right. I did have questions.

He released my hand and grabbed the sandwich for me, unwrapping it he held it out. His face calm and serene. But I knew him better. He was dying on the inside. He overthinks absolutley everything. although this topic, if we were both about to talk abut the same one I am thinking about is fairly serious.

He shuffled to sit opposite me and he sat, stiff posture and eyes blank. Typical, analytical Edward. taking another deep breath I shoved a huge mouthful of sandwich into my mouth, I know I was being a coward but there was no way I starting this conversation. "Bella I want you to know that I want you to ask anything you need to and I will promise to truthfully answer" He adams apple bobbed as he swallowed nervously. I had never seen him like this, except for the morning before he left, but that was different. I'm sure anyone would be nervous for their first time. Although technically it wasn't. I fact I have no Idea what it was, it just ...happened.

I swallowed my sandwich which was one of the best I have ever had, I perused the contents quickly before taking another bite. Edward was getting impatient. his fingers were twitching as he leaned back as casually as he could with a stiff back, that it seemed he couldn't relax. While chewing I thought of a good starter question since he to didn't want to start either, I would put him out of his misery.

Swallowing, I decided I would just put it out there, the question I have being dying to ask since the moment I saw him after I awoke.

"Why did you leave?" I quickly blurted out. He flinched, his eyes closing and I breath he must have held whooshed out. I took another bite, trying to remain nonchalant as the silence stretched out, it was me becoming impatient now. I had finished the Yummy sandwich, and had nothing to distract me now. I brought up my knees and rested my head on my them, preparing myself so if need be I can hide my face.

"I did it to protect you" He said it so fast I almost didn't hear it, It wasn't what I was expecting. I was completely thrown for a moment, "Protect me? From what?" I stared at him from my perch on my knees. He stared back, his eyes blank as he answered. " To protect you from me. from what I am, and what I don't want you to become" He spoke like a robot and I knew he was cutting himself off, he knew I wouldn't like this answer, and so he was leaving so to speak, leaving me to talk only with his shell.

I watched as he receded deeper into himself. his eyes were no longer staring at me but past me, and while I knew he would answer my questions he would not let my emotions or his hinder him. He was decided. on what i did not know . I was tempted to 'hit below the belt' and retort that it was a stupid assumption that he left to 'protect' me. I was almost killed by one of his kind, in his absence. But it wouldn't help anything or anyone. So instead I spoke exactly what ran through my mind at that moment. "So what was your plan, I was still surrounded by vampires and I had no intention of leaving so what would you leaving have accomplished?" He seemed taken aback for a moment, his mouth opened and shut a few times and his brows knitted over his eyes. "I thought-" he cut off a choking sound coming from his thought and he quickly breathed a few times "I thought it would be easier for you to move from us without me there, you were only 17 then so I knew it would be a few years before you left to go to college, but I want and still do want you to find someone, Someone Human who you could have a normal relationship with. I know you will always love your family but Bella you know we aren't natural, none of us can give you more than you have now, if you stay with us you will grow old and we won't and you can't bring another human man into your life and our without risking his life. It was silly of us to ever think that we could be 'normal' for you" I picked a flower and started ripping the petals off vigorously.

I was stunned, all this time I thought he left because of me, and while he did. THe reason was completely opposite to what I had guessed. He left to protect me from falling in love with him. He planned for me to leave the family eventually, and marry some human and have kids and all that. I mulled over his words and suddenly I couldn't breathe. 'And still do' whirled over and over all other thought now gone as I began to realise the implications of his words.

He still didn't want me.

I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. But I needed him to keep talking. He may leave again, for all I know this could be his version of goodbye, the decency to at least let me know why this time. "so where did you go?" my voice wobbled and cracked, but my face was hidden in my knees so I tried to not care.

"I went to italy, you know about the Volturi, well they offered me a place there so I decided that I should go" His voice was now distant and cold.

"but the men you hunted me-" He interrupted quickly. "'yes they were part of the Volturi, I had no idea that they were sent here, I left as soon as I found out. unfortunately to late" It was eerie to hear him say it so coldly, I supressed a shiver. Now was the time when I realised I was sitting opposite a vampire. I didnt think I could still be scared of him, I don't remember ever being scared of him when it was directed at me. only when I watched him angry at someone else. as I realised this I shivered.

suddenly I was being grabbed by cold, hard hands, I yelped and leapt back to land on my butt, the hands quickly released me and I scrambled back on my hands and bottom as far as I could, soon engulfed in the stretching shadows of the surrounding woods. I slowed my breathing and rubbed the aching spots on my arms where he grabbed me, I looked down at them and cringed, I was an easy bruiser and I could already see his hand prints darkening. I looked up and gasped, He was standing his entire body stiff and his jet black eyes trained on me.

whimpering I slid my backside further into the shadows.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10**

**EDWARD**

I watched her try to get away from me. I felt sick. She was scared of me. She looked terrified. I wanted to run to her and comfort her, do whatever I could to let her know I would never hurt her. I stood and took one tentative step toward her , she was rubbing her arms and I cringed at the marks that I left. I didn't mean to grab her so hard, but my mind was so caught up in our conversation I forgot to watch my strength, an ever reminder that she should never have known me or my family, we should have done the right thing years ago.

I was about to rush to her side when I inhaled the worst scent I have ever smelled, before I was bombarded by the thoughts of several or more beings, I froze, their thoughts revealing that whatever they were, they were hunting. It was several more seconds before I could hear their thunderous heartbeats, I was confused, I could hear running but it seemed to be the running of 6 or more bears, yet their speed was much to fast, almost as fast as a vampire. I focussed on their thoughts but they were jumbled, I was hearing several voices in the one head. I tried to stay in the one mind but it seemed impossible, they were animals but they thought and communicated like humans, replaying memories and seeming to speak to each other through their thoughts.

It was only a few seconds since I sensed their presence when I got my first glimpse through the eyes of one I saw a wolf the size of a large horse pounding towards the meadow where Bella and I were residing. Then only one thought I could process. Bella. I had to get her out of here, I have no idea what I am facing, Or what they will do but from the little I can glean from their minds, they know what I am. In a split second I dashed for Bella and grabbed her into my tight embrace, carrying her bridal style I held her head to my chest as I sped off toward the house. I was sure I could make it before they reached us.

I severely underestimated their speed I had hardly left the meadow before a force I have never felt before smashed into my side, I was thrown into the surrounding trees, knocking them over in a domino effect. I angled my body to take the brunt of the landing, tucking Bella's body into a ball as tiny as I could get, into my chest I tucked her head into my chest hard so there was no risk if her breaking her neck though I knew she would bruise, I price I was willing to pay. she yelped at the impact of the dog and whimpered as we sailed through the air, I manoeuvred her into me, as soon as we landed, the thundering of falling trees echoed around the woods, I had a split second to make a choice.

I could see at least 3 dogs charging toward me, I have no idea of their strength or how to fight them. but I couldn't do it carrying Bella. But leaving her on the ground made me physically sick, something I didn't know I could feel. I had no time now though one of the dogs leapt into the air toward me, I dropped Bella who rolled into a ball at the base of the remaining tree trunk. Her wild eyes peering out at me. from under her mess of hair.

In one movement I leapt into the air, throwing myself at the dog, my only thought to get the fight away from where Bella will be hurt. We only landed 30 feet away as two more dogs started toward me. I swung like a mad man as over and over the dogs attacked with their teeth and paws. As I fought I kept one eye on Bella. Something which I realised was becoming increasingly hard as they herded me away from her. I strained to read any information I could from their mashed up thoughts and I could not detect any harm intended for her, for me in the other hand, it was plain that the goal was my death.

somehow I managed to keep all my limbs for several minutes but one against 3 was no match, My mind was many places at once as I struggled to stay close enough to Bella yet far enough away to not hurt her. We were hundreds of feet away now, she would barely be able to hear us now. I was distracted and felt a seeing pain as my arm was torn from its socket. Frantically I screamed " RUN!" I don't know if she heard me as my other arm was swiped off and thrown into the distance.

It was over. I was one against three with no arms. I was a dead man. I fell to the ground and squirmed to face where I knew she might still be. I looked up to the tree where I left her, the sound that escaped me I was never aware I was capable of escaped my chest, I roared which died into a whimper as I watched as a man took hold of her in his huge arms, she screamed and kicked to no avail as he lifted her onto a dog then climbed onto it's back alongside her.

I tried to scream but my voice wouldn't come. I was faintly aware of the sound of vampire flesh being torn as I watched my life being taken away from me.

* * *

**BELLA **

I wrestled against the hot body that held me against a huge dog. Tears streamed down my face, matting my hair. I tried to look back at him one last time but I we were long gone, all I could see was woods, which all looked the same except for the smashed up clearing that I left him in. I could hear his howl and watched as they tore him apart. I clawed at the dog below me and screamed as loud as I could over and over untill my lung gave out. whoever was holding me was trying to comfort me but I didn't care for his words. I sobbed as the images I couldn't escape replayed in my head again and again until I welcomed the comfort of the dark.

I woke screaming for Edward hands held me to the bed and stroked my hair but they were all wrong, hot and soft and their fingers huge and getting tangled in my hair rather then the soft, cold touches I loved. Everything came rushing back and the tears streamed down my face. I curled up into the same position he held me in before he was attacked and sobbed. The hands continued to torment me but I couldn't care less if they meant to hurt me or keep me or whatever. I kept my eyes shut and tried to shut out the last terrifying images of him being torn apart.

Hours passed, as I wept quietly. I listened trying to glean where I was being kept. I could pick up 3 voices, one of an elderly man who seemed to be in charge and a woman who almost never spoke, I recognised the voice that tried to calm me when I was being taken here. I thought back to his words and I gathered that they most likely werent going to hurt me, unless they were some twisted version of kidnappers. But there was one major and scary question, what the hell were those dogs. I watched with my own eyes the man who held me had turned from dog to man. I had no idea such things could exist and I had never heard my family talk of it.

"sweety are you okay" A soft voice I recognised as the womans sounded from behind me and I jumped at how close she was. "It's okay we wont hurt you" She sat on the edge of the small bed I was curled on, and patted my shoulder softly.

I turned to face her wiping my eyes, and sat up. She was older than me, maybe mid thirties, she had jet black hair and dark skin, the same as the man in the woods. "I'm sue, do you mind telling me your name?" I stared at her fopr a moment, my throat dry and my hips were protesting majorly against the strain they had suffered in the past few hours, and the freezing cold rain I was soaked in on the way here.

"Bella" my voice was rough, I tried clearing my throat without her noticing but she quickly left me alone in the small room that I noticed was directly adjacent to the kitchen. the room was small with a small bed and a tiny TV on a falling down box. A small window was at the foot of the bed, all I could make out was pitch black and heavy rain drops against the glass. I have no hope of getting out of here at the moment, but I decide to at least find out where I am and make a go for it as soon as I can.

The lady named 'sue' came back in with a steaming cup of tea and I took it gratefully sipping down the scalding liquid. 'sue' sat next to me on and started talking, I listened but i couldn't stop thinking about what my family must be doing right now, It was difficult to concentrate on holding the cup upright when my mind wanders to the last time I saw Edward.

Sue must realize that I'm not really able to listen, I hardly notice when she leaves and shuts the door behind her. I slowly finish my tea in the dark staring out the window at the rain, thinking of his last words. He practically told me he didn't want me, but I wasn't so sure he meant that. When he spoke he sounded choked, and I know that the emotionless wall he put up was probably more for him then me.

maybe he did want me but he wanted me to have choices. If only he wasn't so stupid, surely he could see that it was too late, I was already severely in love with him.

stupid fucking Vampire.

I sat holding my empty cup for hours. thinking of all the things I would say to him, forgetting that those dogs took away that opportunity. So I sobbed some more, Before getting stuck in my thoughts again. Sunrise came but the rain continued. As daylight started to seep through the thick clouds I moved to the window and tried to make out my surroundings. I could only see a shed in the distance and further off was thick woods. I figured we couldn't be that far from forks. But in the rain I had no idea where to go if I was to make it out of here. Trying the window I was surprised when it opened easily. It would be hard to squeeze out but I wasn't going to waste a great opportunity.

there was no noise in the early morning,I could hear loud snoring coming from near the kitchen. It was still early, I guesses maybe 6 so I hopped onto the foot of the bed and slipped my feet quietly out the window both my legs fit out but my butt was seriously stuck, I wriggled desperately, wincing when my hips started to grind against the window sill, but eventually as quietly as possible I plopped onto the sloppy ground. peering through the rain I began to shiver almost immediately, I shut the window behind me and ran to only place I knew. The woods.

I ran until I was no longer running but hobbling like a dog with three legs. My hips were excruciating and I can no longer feel my half way up my legs. It's september and already freezing cold. I tried to find somewhere sheltered from the rain but the forest canopy was already to wet to keep any rain out so I settled at the trunk of a huge tree and tried to huddle against the rain. I stayed there for what seemed hours slowly losing feeling in more and more of my body.

I was no longer numb, but worse. My arms and legs were aching painfully and my head was pounding. Struggling to keep my eyes open, trying to find something to stare at but eventually my exhaustion wins out and I let the slumber take over me.

* * *

**EDWARD**

slowly but surely I began to feel more and more of my body, a burning pain in my shoulder then in my hand, the other shoulder then half my stomach, torso then my thighs and finally the rest of my legs began to burn. I groaned as the excruciating burning took over my senses. It seemed that hours passed, I could only guess that I was in Hell. My mind could only play one thing I was unable to forget the last time I saw her. This was definitely my hell.

But alas I wasn't in my hell after all. I don't know if I was happy about that or not. Not untill I found out if she really was dead by the hand of those dogs would I let myself rest, after I had killed every one of them. I could hear the voice and mind of my father, his words along the same lines as his thoughts, Jasper too was with him, but his thoughts were worried about Alice who he mentioned was out looking. I moaned and opened my eyes only to quickly shut them against the pounding rain. it was black so I immediately knew that Bella had been gone for hours.

"Edward, son, you need to tell us what happened. Where is Bella?" He tried to hide his frantic feelings by staying calm by my side, but his thoughts betrayed him. Alice, Rose Emmet and Esme have been looking for hours. But the rain has washed all traces of her scent.

I was at attention as soon as he started thinking about Bella. Sitting up in the mud I ignored my stiff burning limbs and started scanning my thoughts for every detail.

"Dogs, we were attacked by huge dogs, 4 or 5 of them, the size of horses, fast like us and nearly as strong." I broke off remembering how one of them had taken Bella. But then I realized something else.

"Carlisle I think they were shape shifters, one took Bella but he was a man" I stared off at the tree that I had last seen her beside and rose with Carlisle help to go investigate.

"Shape shifters have been known to exist but I have never seen any, surely we would know if any were here" Carlisle mused as I led him to the tree where I left Bella. I think for the first few minutes I was numb, now as As stood before the place where I can still see those terrified eyes. A high wail echoed through the trees, but I didn't know what it came from. dropping to my knees I let my body slump into the mud.

"Jasper go and find the others, we need to have a family meeting as soon as possible before we go looking again" I payed no attention to my father as he sat beside me and let my moan and mumble into the mud, some time passed and it seemed that the more I woke to myself, the more the burning eased. I seemed to realize that she wasn't dead. I could feel it. I knew if she was dead, I wouldn't feel this pulse where my heart should be. I would be hollow.

I brung my muddied face up to my fathers, He looked at me for a moment before the briefest of smiles graced his worried features and he nodded to me, " We will find her Edward. None of us will stop until we do" He jumped up and pulled me with him before we took off toward the house. I felt as though I was watching myself from above. I looked detached, the same way I prepared myself earlier this afternoon, cold and emotionless. It easier that way, if I let myself feel what I know I would be feeling now I wouldn't be able to go on, and if we are going to find her I need to be functional enough to find her then kill the dogs one by one.

At the house I was met the the distraught thought of my mother, Carlisle rushed inside when the sound of her sobs reached him, I always marveled at how a mate is so in tune with their other half, At his touch she immediately relaxed into his arms and her sobs quieted as he cradled her. I used to marvel, now I feel a surge of jealousy. I have always longed for someone who could do that for me and to be the one who has the ability to calm the one you love with a touch, to know that I have found that after nearly 100 years but that I am turning it away is... indescribable. The vampire in me screams for his mate, when she is in the vicinity it's a physical war with my own body to not go to her and hold her, to claim her as mine in such a primal way. I have watched Emmet and Rose, how although he jests and laughs when men ogle his wife, she never leaves the house without his scent and mark on her, invisible to the human eye, but any Vampire can smell and see that she is mated and that to touch her would be provoking their own death.

"Edward?" I turn to see Jasper raising a questioning eyebrow at me, Quickly I reign in my emotions, I almost never let my family see or feel what I am feeling. I have become a master at hiding in the external shell I have created for myself. He frowns, puzzled at what he felt from me, I just shake my head.

Emmets voice which was uncharacteristically quiet brought us from our thoughts. "Edward, you need to tell us what happened"

"WHen did you find me?" I pinched the bridge of my nose as I began to feel the throbbing pain in my chest start to radiate throughout my entire body.

"just before the storm hit, Alice saw both of your futures disappear, but nothing else, We didn't know where you were, Alice had only seen glimpses of the meadow. We ran to find you and when we did you were torn apart, covered in some scent I have never come across before, why tried to trace it but the rain washed in away to quickly" it was eerie to listen to Emmet speak in such a resigned tone, He was finding it hard to find hope that we would find Bella.

"We were in the meadow when I first caught their scent, they knew what I was, I tried to read them as they seemed to share each others thoughts and memories, they were excited to find me and their intention was clear they wanted to kill me, it was as though they had no control, the closer they got the more their coherent thoughts left them and they focused on the hunt. Once they got to me, well you know what happened. But Bella they knew not to harm her, but I don't know" I sunk down into the chair that someone was pulling me towards.

"I watched one them, he was a man, big, bigger then most men He lifted her into one of the dogs. It was the last time I saw her, before they ripped me apart." I struggled to keep my voice from shaking as I cradled my head in my hands, Esme was rubbing soothing circles on my back and shoulders as they trembled. Carlisle measured voice broke the silence as everyone pondered what may have have happened. "you are lucky they didn't burn you. From my time with the Volturi, their are shape shifters, and I have my ideas about where they may have come from. Outside Forks there in a small village inhabited by ethnic groups people the Quilets, I would bet that it could be them, and if it is them SHape shifters exists to protect humans from the likes of us so I think we can say Bella is safe. But I am not sure of their numbers and how we can get her back without bloodshed."

Before I anyone could register I was out the door, I knew what Carlisle was talking of, La Push.

"Edward,NO!" I could hear the frantic shouting of my family but I was off like a bat out of hell. I had one thought. Bella. As long as she wasn't with me she wasn't safe I don't care what they tried to reason with, I wasn't going to let dogs near my mate. '_Edward, think son. if you barge in there they will attack and this time they may finish you, they may even harm Bella. Shapeshifters are dangerous if any were to shift near her they could kill her. We need to talk to them, let them know what we are and how we live. If that doesn't work we will attack and get Bella out safe. I love her too Edward she is my daughter and I will put my life on the line to save her. Just as you will" _

__I listened to my father's words and slowed, It took everything I had to stop my body from hurtling towards her. As Carlisle stopped beside me followed By Jasper I clung to him, to keep myself from continuing toward her. Carlisle grabbed my shoulders and shook me roughly "Edward, focus, the more we focus now the quicker she will be back with us again. don't lose it now" I nodded and schooled my features into the blank shell I knew so well.

"We will go in there now and try to speak, they must have an elder or leader of some sort." As much as Carlisle tried to seen calm Both Jasper and I could feel the tension and stress and I could read the terrified thoughts he refused to let himself acknowledge. "how are we going to do this?" dawn was approaching and couldn't bear to think of how terrified she must be right now if she is with them. "I Honestly don't know but I think maybe we should scout the area first, Emmet and rose are waiting back home for us to go searching again, just in case. I know this is hard for you Edward but we need to go home and figure out how best to do this."

I kept my shell up with effort and nodded, while I tried to hide the longing that must have been plain in my eyes as I looked toward where she may be. Jasper patted me on the back, his thoughts full of empathy and led me back to the house.

The sun was high in the sky, hidden my clouds and the ever poring rain. It has been almost 8 hours of talking planning and trying to figure out how to contact the dogs without starting a war. I left the others long ago, they still sit deliberating at the dining table, I can see in their mind's eye as they glance over at me concerned at my lack of anything now, standing, frozen gazing out the front windows, for any sign of Emmet or Rose. They have been looking for hours now, phoning Carlisle every hour to check for changes. it is impossible to track her scent in the rain, any trace would be long washed away by now so sight and sound is our only hope.

I can feel the cracks starting to show in the family. Esme is starting to become frantic beyond the calming touch of her mate and Carlisle isn't much better. Jasper is recalling his battlefield days and Alice is in an almost constant trance, looking into the future. Bella's future is still just a black hole and mine isn't much better. As long as I don't have Bella, my decisions are solely based around her.

Alice's gasp brought us all to attention, I watched as glimpses of a vision streamed into her mind. I couldn't make anything out only patches of woods, and rain, the one thing I could glean was that is was day time. We both emerged from the vision just as confused. there was no one in the vision just woods. Alice was distraught, it seemed she was losing her ability the more she looked the more she lost. I let myself fall to the ground, laying in a heap on the floor I shut my eyes and focussed on breathing. I noticed the ache that has never left since the moment I was put back together, starting to lessen. "Edward you need to go and rest and let yourself heal, you must in a lot of pain." My fathers quiet voice offered little comfort, I was in pain, but It was nothing compared to the feeling of not knowing where she was or if she was even alive. I told myself over and over that she couldn't be dead. I still felt her.

I relaxed slightly as the pain became less and less. I breathed deeply for the first time, as a the sound of a fluttering heartbeat, flooded my senses.

The entire family tried to fit out the front door at the same time, leaving splintered wood and shattered glass, as we raced to the heartbeat. I ran like a madman, into the woods towards the sound and came across the most wonderful sight. Emmet cradled Bella in his arms followed closely by Rose. However my euphoria was short-lived, when I registered the state of my mate in someone Elses arms and instincts kicked in.

I growled low in my throat in warning. Everyone froze, a shocked Emmet stood stock still, as I sunk into a crouch, my teeth bared and lips curled, venom seeping from my glistening teeth.

"Put Bella down Emmet, slowly, don't startle him. His instincts are in full swing. He is protecting his mate." I barely heard Carlisle's words as I watched Emmet slowly sink down and gently place a unconcious Bella into the mud of the forest floor. He stepped back and placed himself in front of Rose as I kept my feral stance. I was fighting a war with myself yet I had no control over what I was doing, I knew it was irrational in a tiny area of my brain. It seemed that the floodgates had opened and the Vampire that I truly was, was now taking over control, and didn't show any signs if giving that up anytime soon.

As soon as he stepped far enough away, I deemed him no longer a threat to my mate and leapt to her side and brought her up into my arms, her heart was weak and she was incredibly cold. I kissed her blue lips and moaned at the contact I have craved for so long. I ran my nose along her jaw and down her neck, nibbling on the skin enough to mark her as mine but not break the skin. I registered in the back of my mind the gasps of my family who all took a step forward as they watched me nibble her neck, I knew I wouldn't harm her. I knew biting her was not an option. Although that is what Mates do I know I cannot bite Bella to mark her until she too is a vampire.

there was a tiny vioce trying to scream at me that Bella Needed medical attention, the doctor in me was frantic. Yet I could not find the will to give in to him. I held her closer to me, trying to stop the rain from touching her which was impossible. I stood cradling her, tucking her head into my jacket, I ran back to the house. I could sense the others as they followed, the human scraps in me noted that I did not seem to heed the vioces of the minds around me, I seemed to ignore them completely. However that fleeting thought was swathed away when I reached the top of stairs to My room. I wanted to keep her their but I did notice that only her room, which was directly opposite mine contained a bed. I stalled, a low growl sounding as warning to my approaching family as I pondered this. My Instincts told me that My room the place that was marked by my scent is where I should take her. She was MINE.

Very quickly I came to a conclusion, I took her into my room and gently laid her upon the small lounge chair, before returning to the hall, my chest vibrated as I passed them, hovering, concern written on all their faces. I dashed as quick as I could into Her room, and dragged the thick mattress off the bed and into my room I laid it out in the middle of the far wall and fixed the covers and Pillows to something comfortable for her. "Carlisle you need to do something, she needs medical attention. He can't do that on his own" I tensed as Carlisle walked into the hall just outside my door. His gaze fell on My mate, his thoughts trying to asses her condition, The words hypothermia did not deter me. but a raging voice that was quickly shut down before he could speak outright screamed at Me internally. I come to the assessment that Hypothermia was not something I wanted.

I noted that her clothes were dirty and dripping wet and her tiny form was starting to shake more violently. in an instant I was at my door, I looked to Carlisle He immediately stepped back. Esme took several quick steps toward me and I lowered to a crouch a feral growl coming from deep in my throat. Soon the hall was filled with it as Carlisle quickly put himself between me and Esme, tensed ready to take my attack. We both growled, until he back away from the lair I had created for me and my mate. I stood and backed into the room, closing the door behind me, I set to work caring for my frail human mate.

* * *

**AUTHORS NOTE **

**I hope you like this chapter =, I am quite enjoying writing about the vampire Edward, something He has never shown before, but everyone can be broken. Please let me know how you liked this chapter. Do you think I moved on to fast? **

**Thsese last few chapter have been a bit shorter but I find now that I have less time to write its a bit easier to proof read and stay focussed long enough to get a decent chapter out. sorry if there a a few more then usual mistakes in here as I have not taken the time to diligently read and re-read this chapter. **


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

BELLA

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I am sorry for the wait for this terribly short chapter, I promise to update more regularly as much as I can for the next few weeks, however, I am due in 5 weeks time with baby number two so.. I can't promise anything. I hope you like this chapter. I know it is short but I wanted to keep this separate. Please review, I don't mind criticism it helps me get better! And I hope you could all leave me a review as it a bit harder to keep writing with no feedback. Please and Thankyou!

* * *

I woke to the sound of soft purring. Cold fingers brushed along my neck, over my breasts and down the sides of my stomach. I shivered as they continued down the inside of my thighs, I flinched reflexively as the fingers tickled my feet and toes. I kept my eyes closed as they hands with more pressure this time up my legs, kneading my thighs with delicious pressure before grabbing my hips and lifting them up onto cold legs.

My eyes shot open, and the hands paused in the pitch black. I could make out nothing, only my fast breathing as I felt the hands lift me onto a cold body, was I dreaming? I tried to remember where I was, but nothing would come. I stretched my arms out beside me and felt soft sheets and the thick duvet bunched around me. I squinted trying to make out something in the darkness. I focused for a long moment in one place in particular trying to see something, Eventually I could make out that I was staring at windows, large one which made up the entire wall of the room.

Edward's Room.

I sat up, the hands stopped and grabbed my lower back I was now sitting in their lap, I could feel the cold curves of their body against mine. I was suddenly aware that I was naked as I felt my nipples harden as they brushed against a cold chest, I reached out in the black, My breathing was coming faster as I shut my eyes and let my hands feel up and down the cold hard body that was holding me. I could feel the ridges of a muscled stomach, the light dusting of hair across a hard chest, my fingers moved slowly up a long slender neck, I could feel their breathing start to match the pace of my own as my fingers continues along the smooth jaw line, over parted lips, the ridge of a nose and thick eyebrows, I ran both hands through his hair.

Edward's hair. He moaned softly as My grip tightened in his hair and I pulled his face towards mine. our breath mingled into one. I breathed him in and my entire body relaxed, our noses brushed together and our breathing mingled, His lips softly brushed against my own, once, twice three times before I returned by moving my own against his. We both moaned in unison as our kiss quickly escalated from soft brushes to a heated, my hands gripped his hair and pulled his face harder into mine. His hands gripped my naked bottom hard and began kneading it in his hands. I moved my legs to wrap around him as he pulled me closer to him, I shivered slightly as his cold body aligned with mine.

He mouth left mine when I pulled away desperate for air, only to run his tongue along my jaw and down my neck. In a move almost to fast for me to comprehend, He laid me on my back, I could feel his body along every inch in my own and I was suddenly aware of his hardness pressing on my stomach almost painfully. I kept my hands in his hair as his lips and tongue kept their hard path over my breasts. I realised that I soft rumble, almost a purr was vibrating from his chest as he ravished every inch of skin he could reach.

his hands were rough, but not rough enough to cause pain. I moaned loudly as his mouth captured my nipple My body took over and I arched my body into his over and over. He seemed pleased with this and his hand inched between my legs. I was suddenly aware that something was wrong. I was so caught up in what my body was doing that I realised that Edward was yet to speak, and this most certainly was not would Edward would ever think of doing. Not only did I know that Edward would never have me naked in his bedroom, Nor would he be naked.

I couldn't stop the moan from escaping my throat as he left my nipple and continued to the other with vigor. my hands never left his soft hair as I struggled to maintain a valid line of thought. I struggled to remember how I managed to be here, I thought of the last thing I remembered.

I was my birthday. The meadow, the talk I had with Edward before...

"EDWARD!" My hands were frantically pulling on his hair to gain his attention, I pulled as hard as I could which felt awfully wrong and I cringed as I told myself it wasn't hurting him. after some time he stopped and brought his lips back to mine, roughly shoving his tongue in my mouth with a feral growl. It took me a moment to react as I my thoughts were on the events of the last two days. The Wolves, being kept in a house, escaping and hiding in the freezing cold where I must have fallen asleep.

I moved my lips with Edward's as he became increasingly eager. His hands traveled over every inch of my body making me hiss into his mouth as he rubbed my over sensitive nipples. My entire body froze as I felt the tip of him at my entrance. He stopped his mouth over mine, his breathing heavy, mingling with my own. With one move he slid inside me, another growl rumbling from his chest.

I was stunned. My body froze as I struggled to focus on here and now and not what the feeling brought. I squeezed my eyes shut, two tears leaking from the corners of my eyes as memories I have blocked for so long came flooding back. I was only faintly aware of his slow thrusting and feral grunts. He didn't hurt me, but I have never been touched intimately in my life. I don't count my one experience with a man who almost killed me. I knew whatever Edward was doing now he didn't mean. I knew he would never hurt me, yet the tears continued to run down the sides of my face as I struggled to keep my emotions under control.

I struggled to understand what was happening. Why was Edward doing this? I wanted to scream at him, But his mouth on mine let only whimper's out. I was mostly sure that something was wrong with Edward. There was no way he would ever think of acting this way. As I continued o think, as Edward continued his ministrations, I laid there and for a brief moment my guard was down, My body started to answer to his, I lifted my hips to meet his movements, I was unaware at first. But I broke away from the block in my mind I realised I was only spurring him on. My mind said No. My mind was struggling to let myself stay aware. Yet my body knew, My body knew that I felt good. Despite the memories, Despite the numbness I woke up with after every nightmare. My body started to answer to with him, a breathy moan left my throat, but I hardly heard it. My mouth now moved against his in a heated kiss rather than hang limply. My hands grabbed at his hair and pulled him to me.

The scared thoughts were taken over. I was more concerned about the feeling spurring from my core. My moans were becoming more desperate as I felt myself nearing the edge of a precipice I had only felt once before, yet this time was a thousand times more intense. Our mouths separated and I could faintly see the glow of the whites of Edwards eyes, his usually golden pupils now invisible, blending with the rest of the darkness. AS I studied his face in the night I could see the smile on his face, It wasnt soft But rather domineering. As we moved to together, our movements still as heated as before, I felt his hands in my hair, gently twirling it through his fingers before he lifted my head to his own. his lips were hard against the bone of my Jaw, I whimpered as he nipped my necked with his lip covered teeth.

It took me a while to realize. He was Marking me.

And I found I quite liked that. I had never had anyone to own me. I had often seen the possessive marks of mated ownership my siblings left on each other. Emmet would laugh when human men hit on His Rose. At first I thought this strange, I thought he did not care for others to ogle his wife and mate. But I found out soon after that if ever a Vampire were to come across either of any pair of mated Vampires, Instantly that could see the marks almost invisible to the human eyes, the bites and nips of their lover. The smell of their mating would linger on both male and female. More prominent on the female as they were more sort after, the marking process was major, if their was an unmarked Female, Males were able to make their claim to them.

I now understood what Edward was doing. He was mating. He was marking me as his. THis was not just sex. THis was not love right now. It was primal. His grunts and growls now only spurred me on. I couldn't stop the smile from taking over my face as He continued to leave small makes over my neck. I knew they werent the real deal. He could never bite me now. But I would still carry his scent, I would still be recognizable as his until e next took me to continue his claim.

I felt the EDdge nearing as I continued to moan through a smiling mouth, Edward quickened his movements and suddenly I was there. I have no idea what sounds I made, I was in another world of pleasure for a few moments, I felt as thought I was hearing my loud moans and whimper's from another dimension.

I came back to myself. Smile still on my face, as Edward suddenly slowed, then in a few jerky movements He came inside me with a animatistic roar, before he began chanting under his breath as he mouth grazed my neck.

"Mine".


End file.
